Hmmm.... nt feeling well... Super nt feeling well. Sigh..

I guess partly cos i am scared of my dad's result...

i hope things will be fine.. = )

Sigh.. tmr is hall camp! i really hope i will enjoy myself . i am kind of scared since my daddy's result is coming out tmr. WHo will i turn to? sob sob... Perhaps i will need a hug. Yeah! hope he is fine.. = )

Gg to leave at ard 10 tmr. Sigh.. wanted to leave earlier but i realise i hav to matriculate. ARGH! YEa.. my time table.. Sian.. must print lor.. Argh.. why cant i hav a lappy? haha.. Its ok.. will get one soon.

Guess what ? just nw my GL called me. I told him that i need to go off at ard 12 plus. Then he told me that we are gg to sentosa. Argh! shit. I gonna miss out a lot. Hope ms fong wont PS me after the tea.. If nt i will be lonely...SOb.. but he said i must join back in the evening! OK.. dun tell me is fright night hor. haha.. Hmm.. sian.. sick liao.. My eye is swollen. My tongue also .. its a bit swollen... sigh...

wanna slim down during this camp! sob sob... Hope so...

Hmmmm....

I think i will not try KFC for the time being liao. I had a BAD night yesterday. Full till i cant slp. Sound bad? haha.. i prefer MAC chicken. haha.. YEA! Finally digested i guess.. haha...

Hmm.. feeling much beta. I really pray that my dad will be fine. I hope he is fine! argh...

hmmmm... yea, talked to ms fong yesterday. Seeing her on 29th . SIan sia.. I have to rush down cos i will be at Boon lay. Hope i wont be late.. wanted to go vivo, heng sia.. I didnt tell her i wanna go vivo. If nt .. haha.. = P Cos she said she wanna PUKE! haha... i also feel like Puking when i learnt that she wanna go.......... haha... Ok la.. will cancel everything for her sake! mayb for my NOTEs sake.. haha.. hmm... having TEA with her. But i guess that would be my lunch. HAha.. LALA.... CAnt wait 29th to come.

Ok.. need to go refine the present which i wanna give her. Need to kill a lot of brain cells again. haha.. TATA

IS money impt? argh!! i really dun noe what i want. Feel sad abt it. BUt i do hope i will find an answer one day.

hmmm... feel unsecured . sigh.. what can i do? Higher authority , you there? Hope you will guide me the right way!

ermmmmmmmmmmmm...................... what am i suppose to do today again? life is so boring. mayb i shld go pray pray. haha... = ) SEE bA... Pray for a calm mind. Pray for guidance. =)

feeling much beta though but still inside me is empty. Perhaps i am feeling a bit lost? I need someone to talk to ? Yep. I guess so. Was talking to jeanice yesterday. I was impressed by what she said. I guess i am just a bit different ba. I wont fight for the things i want or i like. I will let fate do the job. Higher authority? am i right by doing so? what is right? I dont even know what i am feeling now. JUST EMPTINESS ba. =(

So what if i know this time is the right one? i am not in control... tsk tsk... Li wan ya, Li wan ya... stop thinking and move on... =)

Hmmm... slept in the afternoon. PIG! not feeling well. No choice... Ms fong left a msg.. So yup.. deciding when to meet her. Sian.. seems like she is always so busy bo bian. SIgh.. she wanna deliver to my house! siao..hope to meet her ba. Wanna to pass her the gift too. Argh.. put in a lot of effort and time to do one. Sigh... Will call her this friday! i Dun care... =(

Feeling slightly beta... =( but i am nt sure why i am feeling a bit empty inside. WHy? what does that mean? sigh.. Higher authority, i ask for ur guidance. Please grant me wisdom. I am scared cos i guess i hav fallen into the trap. I hope that things will turn out fine. =(

sigh, what should i do? just wait for something to happen? but somehow i am afraid too. Higher authority , i hope u can bless me with all the happiness in the world. grant me the wisdom. I really really yearn for it. I hope things will continue to move on or get better.

nice fren is really hard to get . sigh.. tired.... =(

Yay.. i am back from camp!

The happiest thing is i have already overcome my fear and phobia. Give me a clap! I was quite enthu for the first 2 days. haha.. Hmmm.. cos must really enjoy before sch start. hahah... Tired. super tired. The bed was superest hard. haha.. The games were quite tough too. haha.. But i made it! yea! i really made it. Hmm.. the 3rd day was quite tough since i was having my period . I didnt do much. It was SP night too. and i wasnt feeling well. I decided nt to go for the BTT. i suck la. haa.. nvm.. will try next time. SOoon ba.. haha... Okay . Hmmm...the 4th day was also quite horrible. It was amazing race. Yes, i hurt my leg! quite badly! haha.. I cant run much too. But i m blessed to have such a caring OG grp and GL and SA. Most of them were there for me. They offered to help me. haha... =)
The SAs were very nice people . full of crap. I really had an enjoyable and memorable time for the past few days. The SAs and Gls love to be matchmakers. haha.. yes, i kana yesterday. I fell into their trap. but its all for the FUN! yea

tired... feel like sleeping again... PIGGGGGGG

the phobia is always there. trying very hard to get rid of it. really! trying hard to overcome it. Dun tease me.. dun mock at me. Cos i think u suckx. Its okay that u dun understand cos i dun need you to understand. Yup. I hate you.. sucker...

Liwan, can de.. ji ayou ! at least i have smthg to look foward to after all my camps. I am super happy when i think of it.. hehe... i must endure for it. haha.. I must overcome it . Yea..

Hmmm... Yea... ms fong called me to thank me. haha.. she sent me the picture of the basket of fruit n flower. Still nt bad ba.. haha.. SO she questioned me how come i know her ADDRESS. haa.. she said i was v resourceful. haa.. YEa... Yup, she guessed correctly. haha.. she was v happy . She thought she has admirer initially. haa.. Well, the basket for her DADDY. But can share the fruit = )
Glad that her dad was discharged yesterday. SO WHat's now. My daddy's turn. Argh... hope it will be over soon. real soon... = ) how can i concentrate during the camp? argh....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

realised smthg today. FLOWERS cost a BOMB... super ex. haa... And Plus the fruit! =(
haha.. but okay la.. as long as the flowers can cheer ppl up =)

YEs, finally the last daY! haha.. happy...

hmmm.... i think i am pregnant sia. time of the month not here. SigH! =(

Feeling v down in the morning but gradually i am alrite already... yes, my dad is discharged. He needs to go again on the 20. Sigh. HIS BD is on the 21th. Poor thing. MS fong smsed me this afternoon asking if i am in sgh too... i called her lor.. Thank ms fong! will learn to submit to fate. If this is the correct way of escaping from my emotions...

anyway , i hope her dad can be discharged soon too.. I am sure uncle will be fine. Sending flowers to her house ba. Hope he will recover soon = ) . Give them my blessing = )

Too tired.. le

i am gg to break down soon. REALLI! I cried like for the whole day today.. i am too tired. SUper tired. mentally and physically. Met up with ms fong. His dad's op was very successful. V happy for her. Too bad i couldnt drop by to say hi. Ms fong was there for me the whole day. Super long day for her. Thank you! i dun noe hw to express my gratitude towards her. REALLi. We talked a lot a lot. Her smses touched me. What she had done for me was definitely more than enough. I am realli like a baby. i feel so sucky,. WHy cant i be strong like my sis too. I am super needy. will meet up with her to collect my notes...

HMmmmm... called ms fong this afternoon .. YUp she came back earlier! And yes she rmb to bring my notes back.. sigh.. she is much stronger than me. MS fong , i hope you are fine. I am sure ur daddy will be fine = ) . Sometimes i am really super proud to have her as my mentor. She is a very strong gal from my point of view. Thank for cheering me up when you were feeling down. I miss your laughter!

Tmr is my dad's turn. definitely much more safer i hope. I guess i am just v worried of his lung. the report is nt out yet! super sian!
hmmm... thank to those ppl who really cared for me.. who hav sent their regards to my dad. I love you all. My dad will be fine = )

Hmmm.. li wan , needs to be strong. YES! i am a happy gal...

Higher authority , are u there? i pray that things will be fine for my dad as well as ms fong's dad. Yup. I pray that you can shower everyone of us with ur love , care and concern. Thank you!

have not been slping well for the past few nights. Wake up at 7am just nw. Cant go back to slp anymore.
Sigh.. why time of the month still not coming yet? pregnant ya? haha... hope it can come like today or tmr.. If nt i will be v disappointed. God pls guide me...
gg to tamp later with shikin to collect my levis spec and also jean. Will get a bag ba. hmmm.. feel like gg down to qweenway to get some shorts cos it shld be cheaper?
had longtong just nw. It suckz.. feeling like vomiting.. =X
Yea.. next week is last week of work. feel so excited abt it.. haha... the happiest moment sia.. haha... =) will give ms fong a call too on my last day cos i need to remind her to bring my notes back. i feel a bit bad .. sigh..

Im Liwan. I love to be loved, pampered. I want to be the superest girl but i always fail to be one. I want to be a teacher next time. Currently at the age of 21. Birthday 5th Jan