TIRED... I wonder why? haix... JUst nt in the good mood.


Came back early esp cos of u yet u are nt free... well, one more week to go. I scared. What happens if i cant ....................................... I will be super-est sad.

HAIX. kept gg toilet today after eating the curry veg plus coffee. V bad.. Gg later again... Received an invitation from NTU. Is it a HINT? I doubt so. HAix.. But at least it made me happy for a few sec. HAIx.. God i really wish that i can get the course i want =)

Superest tired...

went out just nw but din buy anything.. JUST nOT in the mood BA. Perhaps i am too confused.

God can u guide me?>

TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gg out with my dear tmr.. haPPY!

bought a yellow bottom. I love it!

Went out with Wan xin.. had a lot of fun.. gt my cheque again.. hehe.. But i felt cheated leh.. I dun noe hw they calculate de =(

din get to buy my bag.. damn disappointed .. Will get one soon!

I fall in love into a new song... FROM this moment ON. It will be my wedding song !

I shall work towards to my GOAL . Learning to be the super-est daughter. I know its never easy BUt after today i really know how much my mum has compromised. She is noble. Will try v hard =)

SUper-est girlfriend, Super-est Teacher, Super-est wife, super-est !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why am i soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worried of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. i dun noe but i love seeing my $$$ in the bank grow. HA......
How long do i need? work for one mnth le. It doesnt seem to have a significant increase. SADDED. Probably cos it is weekly paid de. HAIX. Hope to receive my last week pay today. it wonnt be a lot but still it makes me happier. HA.. Neext week getting 200 plus but it is slightly lesser than normal cos i have 2 half days. =( ARGH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gg out later to collect my plaque. There goes my money again. But i guess it is worth while ...

Hmmmm.... Met up with mdm koh.. We went to the food court and eat . Ha.. we talked alot. She wanna me to pass a msg to ms fong. Well, she gt chance a nt lor. Tired... shop ard but din buy anything cos i really dun have money liao!!!!!! =(

just finished talking to ms fong... MS fong , thank for lending me ur ears. Hmmm... It really became a habit. I would say it is a bad habit. But i really feel much beta cos i dun feel inferior when talking to u . At least u wont laugh at me...

Talked to my dad too. Our mnthly expenses is ard 20 k. HAix. IS a lot. i wanna work hard.

God , i pray that i can get the course that i want . I am scared. I want to go NTU =(

chatting with ms fong nw.. Haha.. dun feel as sad as b4... She told me to wait for her. Her one min a bit long... I told her i want a hug .. Yep.. she gave me with a kiSS.. ha.. funny sia.. Told her abt the shanghai trip too. YEP.. Fun .. look forward to it. Hopefully my dear can tag along ba...

having slight cramp but still can tolerate. Improve a lot compare to last time. Meeting mdm koh tmr.. wondering where we are gg to eat . She will decide ba.. cos its vegetarian. AHA

TIme of the MNtH! HAPPY SIA... At least nt during chinese new yr.. =) I can eat all i wan , play like hell and do everything i like... mayb will call my dear later..

Tired.. v Tired.. Gonna slp soon.. hav to wake up early tmr.. =(

meeting mdm koh on fri. At least i dun feel so bad nw. She doesnt sound happy lately. Hope i can be her listenining ears

YAWN!

Simply not in the mood.



O lvel results on THURS!!!!!!!!!!! What abt A level then. That really upset me most. I have been having nightmare of my results. God, i really pray that things will be fine for me. I really want to get the couse that i love .



I start to scared le. Where are u ? i am feeling as down as u are . Probably worse than u

mmmm,.. tired.. v tired...

i will never forget what i had dreamt... its so scary...

I need LOVE too..

had another nightmare! Dreamt of my A level results. I can only rmb my GP, chem and econ results. ALLL sux sia... I guess it was worst than my prelim. I cried v badly in my dream. I kept crying. I forced myself to wake up . I HATE it! I have been dreaming such situation for thousand times. PErhaps GOD is telling me that i wont do well. HAIX. Giving me mental preparation.

Nver felt so sad b4. I want a hug!

If u give me one chance to tell you how i was feeling, i will tell u that i wont live my life w/o you...
A part of me was dying, there is nthg left for me to do now.

I want a big hug. I real big one. =( I am truly very tired.

i might be laughing away, yet deep inside my heart , i wished that you were here for me. =(

felt like a sinner nw. A real sinner. Is it my fault to have such mindset

I didnt sleep well the whole night. I have nightmare too.

I WANT A BIG HUG! CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME?

decided to make a plaque. HAHHAHA..

Reasons : 1) more high class ma.. haha
2) It doesnt has expiry date.. haha
3) It is nt very expensive etc............


YUP. Will start to call alll the company that make plaque. Hope to get cheaper price and of course must see if they can complete b4 chinese new year ma. =P

met up with tang qian and wan xin for breakfast . Guess who was late? ME!!!!!!!!!! OMG... weird leh... hhahh.. late by like 2 min only la. haha

Got my cheque today. Quite surprise wor. Its v early. gt nearly 300 buckz for last week. nt bad. But i guess for this week and next 2 will be quite bad cos i still cant get my ID and passwrd. Its a v sad thing. haix. Earning lesser. Cant reach my goal liao. HAIx

i hav things to tell u . I wanna tell u a lot of thing... will u be there to lend me ur ears?

Hmmm.. was quite a bad day initially . Thankz ai ai , i know you are always there for me. I know you care for me. I am just nt in the good mood. I guess i am just too tired to carry on.

Went to work only in the afternoon. Thought of a lot of things. Sometimes i really neglected a lot of people ard me. That is what i really hate , but i cant stop myself. I cant . I always have the tendency to want to make u feel happy. have it become a habit?

Hmmm.. went for the course provided by citibank. Understood a lot of things. HAHA.. i was v guilty. YUP. So i went back my office to get the password.

Went out with Wan Xin. I only gt to know her when i gt this job . She is a nice gal. We went to eat " just noodles" . haha.. I owe her 2 plus. hhaah.. PAI seh sia... I will withdraw money tmr. Hmmmm... i had a lot of fun with her. I couldnt stop laughing. HAHA.. funny gal. I think i gt stomach cramp liao. HHAA.. I bought a necklance to suit my new yr dress. Of course, it cant compare to the one that my ai aiss bought for me. haha..

left marina square at ard 8. HAH.. quite tired de

HMMM.. gg to have breakfast with WAn XIn and TANg qian tmr. YUP BUt i expect them to be late. HHAHA.. its okay. =)

Fall in love with a song!

HMMMMMMMM...... no need to go office so early today. Only need to reach at one. Still need to attend course in the afternoon. GG out with WAN XIN after the course. YUP. Wanna buy things ,.. hehe.. See la.. No money how to buy.

Helping my mum with some paper work. Nt fun at all. quite boring...

Gg to bathe b4 i fall asleep again. HAIX... LOOking forward to weekend =) Gg facial on sat afternoon . YUP! Liwan stay happY!

Feeling a bit hot...

As usual i went to work this morning but knocked off at 3 . Slightly ealier than usual cos i finished my task. I hope they can get my pasword soon if not i will resign?

Talked to my dearest this morning . Hope things will be fine for you. Just look forward to the shanghai trip with you! =) love u always

HMmmm...... gt myself a debit card. Its kind of dangerous too. Its like a master card. HAH.. =) jia yOU! It is hard to see the digit 7. I wanna mORE mORE ... I hope next mnth will get to see a digit 7. =) YUPZ... But i earn less this mnth .. haix...

I am tired. I dont feel like living anymore. I dont want to interfere the things ard me. I just want to mute and deaf.

Just pissed off.

Time of the month? haix. Speechless.. Wanna bathe and sLP

give me a break..

Hmmm....

somehow i have decided to fly only after i gt my A level results =) . I dun wan to be a coward. I want to face the reality. Yes, i might be damn depressed but i still cant run away . As for now, i want to live in the present and not future. Stop predicting what i am gg to get .

It seems like my birthday wish will never come true .

Looked at NTU and NUS webby just nw. Somehow, i still like NTU. haha.. Somehow i have already set my mind le. I will definitely take courses that is related t chemistry. chemistry & biochemistry sounds great. haha.. may want to try chemistry and biochemistry with concentration of medicinal chemistry . BUT it all bounced down to my A level results.

God, i pray for ur guidance.

Tired... still have to help mum. Its daughter's responsibilty to do so. HAIX. I am really v unwilling. It seems like i can never be the super-est daughter anymore

Talk to ms fong just nw. I pour all my unhappiness out . HAH.. Thankz for her listening ears. I realised smthg, she always type "star" student wrongly. Whenever she says " you are my star student", she always gets the star wronG! haha. I guess i dun deserve it yet. I guess i am used to telling her all my unhappiness . It became a habit so much so that it is detrimental. haahha...

will take a break first =)

Is money v impt? can someone enlighten me??? Sometimes i really dun understand if i have the correct mindset. I have too many principles which i always hold on to. Will u wan to earn more money at ur expense of ur fren? I dunnoe.. But ppl are doing that...

Mayb i am a pampered gal, spoilt brat hence i dun noe how important is money. i love to spurge??? Do i ? haix..

I hate it! i find it disgusting ...

I feel a bit weird when i saw the pics. Am i jealous? I am nt sure either. Am i too stubborn...

when is the good time to start... haix...

wait patiently then ... I prayed... i always pray =)

I am fat .. fat fat fat fat fat.. Sadded... ARGH! ARGH

gg to lose weight after CNY. YUP! =)

wanna take nap later... pig pig..

Hmmm.. once again i wake up quite early today. I am nt a deep sleeper. My 2 sisters are still in their dreamland. I am so jealous of them.

I read the book that i bought yesterday. I must learn to live in present and not future. =) Must jia you lor . well, of course nt in the past too. =) . Learn to accept the reality too =) LIWAN , JIA YOU. BE the best of the best =)

Will go book the air tickets after chinese new yr. Will talk to my mum if she confirms let me go =) YUP! jia yOU liwan .. I guess regardless what my results are, i have to face the reality. mayb i shld b contented with the fact that i am still the star student . =( I am still glowing like a star =)

Gg down to help my mum.. YUP!

Gt my second week pay! YEA. 200 plus only cos gt one half day and one off day due to new yr eve and new yr. YUP. I look forward to next fri ba. Will receive more but they will deduct 20% for CPF. HAIX. sadded. Hope to earn more.

gt to talk to ms fong this morning. I guess she still cant read my entire entry. HAIX. sadded. I talked to her for a while only cos i gt smthg on later. My trip to shanghai is quite certain ba. wil wait till new year then confirm with her again. Hmmm, i asked her if i shld go b4 or after i gt my results cos i really scared i cant make it. HHA. She said that she will still love me and i am always her star student. I guess that is nt my concern. HAIX.

went out with my auntie and little cousin. We went bugis. I prayed. Hope things are fine for my family and me =) . I hope to do well. I wanna to be free from trouble. After that i went to bedok inter. My aunt bought herself a footwear. Glad that she is happy =) . I looked after my cousin. She is quite naughty though. .. kids are like that =)

After that i headed to parkway to meet my fren. gt treated to jap food from food court. I finished up almost everything . First time LEH!!!!!!!!!! Hmmm, i guess the food is nt v nice if u are a jap food lover cos it does nt hav the usual smell which i hate. I dun really like the rice since it is sticky. haha... YUP! the tofu is nice . =)

after that we walked ard lor. I wanna buy bags and many things. =) NO $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.. haha.. mayb when i hit the digit 7 first ba. Then i will start spending more but of course will let it stay at digit 7 . I wanna it to increase till digit 10 . haha.. =) hope so...

Oh ya, i bought a book. It cost 19.90. the title is " HAPPINESS". YUP. HOW to find it and keep it. gg to continue reading. TIRED .. *YAWN*

Wake up so early again.. hehe.. just to wait for u . Touching rite?

Gg out later with my aunt to bugis then HAVE to go down to parkway. =) Hope things will be alrite.

might be gg out with my fren after the trip to parkway. I wanna buy new yr clothes. HA... BUT i dun have money! ARGH! I have a lot of WANTS which is nt good. SHld i buy everything today?COst ard $100. HAIX. This will be like almost half of my 2nd week pay. HOW?? I am v bad if i gt my mum to pay? haha.. HAIX. i AM A BAD GAL. WHY SAVE SO MUCH?? CANT BRING THE $$$$$ into the coffin ma. ARGH!

Alrite.. gg to wash up le.. OOOPPPPPPPPPP , i am a dirty cat.

counting down...23 more days =)

GOD, are you there? feeling quite upset over many things. SOmetimes i really feel that it is very unfair . WHy do i haev to work so hard to get the pay while my friends can joke ard in the vault. God i understand that these are tasks which you have assigned for me. Putting me under a lot of tests and challenges. haix.

Gg out tmr. HAPPY!

Money SEEMS to be very important to me. And WHY? i like to save a lot of money. WHY? HAix. I dun noe why i have such mindset. I dun spend on myself but i like to buy things for ppl. =) V nice of me rite? haha..

Hugging Wanderfong now. V tightly. COs i am scared. Hoping that wanderfong will understand how i feel. =(

YUp.. Went out with AI AI and BETSY. My two Ai ais... haha..

I treated them dinner. Hope they enjoyed the dinner. i bought them donuts. =) . I like my drink. HAHA.. full of passioN! just like me. hahaa

After dinner , i was asked to pick a present =) . yup, they bought me necklace. Do i like it? of course i do cos i it is from them. HA.. NOW i have ring, ear ring , bracelet and necklace. I wonder what is next . What do i short of??? haix..

Money is nt easy to earn. =(

Feeling happier after talking to ms fong! ha.. esp when i gt her wishes. Thankz yOU! i hope the happiness can last v long! counting down to 5th of feb then? haha.. YEP . I looked at the map of her new house, i still dun noe how to go. Will see how la. HA..

Work really suckz. I hate authorisation! YUCK! meeting janice n betsy tmr. Everything also nt confirm =( .. Tired..

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY TODAY! VERY HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went out with my dear to makan . She treated me to Oliva . The food is alrite only. Nt super nice =) We talked a lot. We seems to have a lot of things to say. My leg was aching like mad. I AM damn tired. We went to this fashion again. HAha.. Buying more new year clothes ba. YEa, gg to meet my dearest on next tues. OUr date!

Left her ard 10.30 and headed home. I AM So happy, i chatted with my super-est teacher. HAHA. YEp. First thing i asked her was " did u 4get smthg?" haha.. HEr replied was " HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY". I told her that i love her a lot. YEA. I know u love me 2.. haha The best gift was that she din 4get my BD. She tried to sms me but cannot. haha.. Cher, i really appreciate a lot. Miss u .. Dun be sorry, beta than never rite? I told her i am gg to shanghai too. Yep.. SOON.

She will be back on the 4th feb. Will call on 5th feb cos is Her big day. We will gg out for a meal. haha.. i must treat her. HAPPY! hope thing will go smoothly ba.

Gg to slp soon. A greater motivation to work harder =)

SUper Tired today!!!!!!!!!! My body aches like hell! SOB! i learn to do new stuff again. Annie, my manager taught me how to do some of the things. Hmmm, i think she is v nice! Better than.... hhehe... Who always give me that face! She talked to me for like 10 minutes. She was impressed by me. HAHA.. My ambition?? haha.. Yep, i told her i want to take CHem then go NIE then become teacher. She was shocked when i said that. HAHA.. Yup! She is indeed a nice person.

HOURS later ( after i finished my new assignment) , Annie approached me again. She asked me if i am interested to continue to work till june. I was "HUH". I dun noe how to reject. =( . I agreed initially, but after that i changed my mind. I asked if i can wait till i get back my results. She allowed me to do so. I am v happy that she is so understanding =) . Hope to talk to her more often =) haha... Hmmm, bUT i must take note that i cannot be too emotionally attached to ppl cos in the end i am the one who will suffer =(

After work , i went up to look for VAl. talk to her abt A level. I Am scared =(

Meeting my dearest tmr. Hope we will be able to go for a short trip together =) lOVE U ! No matter how hard it is, i wont let anything affect the bth of us. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY tO MYSELF.

FEEL lOVED tODAy.haha.. i am happy n contented other than the fact that smthg is missing. HAIX. But i cant say anything. HAIX

i wan my BD to be everyday so that i can keep buying n buying ...

ha.. i actually cried in just now. I sat on my chair, Staring at blank spaces, thinking what has happened last yr. How i struggle thru my way.

SLAP* Birthday gal , shld be happy isnt it?? haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MYSELF.

Slept ard 12 plus yesterday. Was talking to my dear . Yupz u are the first to wish me. MAy our friendship be sodalious. CAn i say that we have been thru quite a lot together? We want each other to be happY? You must jia yoU alrite?

Sometimes i think that i am born to be a v emotional girl/ sad girl. Mdm Lim said that it is cos my gene is kind of SHORT. HAHa.. But it is okay, i wll try to lengthen it

Waiting for u to wish me lor. You said u will always rmb. =) We shall see =(

Hmmm... Tmr is my Big day but i know it wont be a happy one w/o yoU! Haix. Feel v down . cant get over iT!

What is my birthday wish? Let me list down? hehe
1) Hope to do v well for A level, then take cHEm , go NIE ==> be a GOOD teacher
2) I want to be the happiest and super-est gal in everything i do.
3) I pray that Ms fong and kor kor will have all the happiness in the world.
4) i hope that my wish will come true

Well, its Fri tmr. finally end of the week le. i wonder how much i earn this week. I guess not a lot since i have a half day and one day off. can earn ard 300 plus for 2 weeks. Will try to have OTsssssssssssssssss haha.. Yep.

Thinking what to get for myself for my BD. Must be smthg BIG?? how shld i celebrate other than just gg out to celebrate with my frens and chers.

It is sad if u still cant view it,. I wonder when will i get to talk to u again.

Liwan, 19 yrs old soon le. Dun be a cry baby alrite? be a strong gal. =)

I wanna lose weight! =(

saw NYP brochures on Health Sci for A level holder. the admission will start at 3rd MArch. I SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it means that A level results will be known before that. To be frank, i am super scared. CAn someone help me? I wanna go UNI , take chemistry , go NIE ==> be teacher. Will my wish come true? HAIX

wanna slp soon. Shld i wait a while?

Just had my dinner..Looking forward to the end of the week and next week.

On my way to sch, i smsed MDM kOh. I apologised to her cos i din ask her out after A level. Haha.. She misses me too. Will arrange a time. =) I really miss my teachers and my school.

Denise approached me ard 5 plus and told me that i will have to learn new skills again! I was v happy that i can always keep myself occupy with work BUT again, that doesnt stop me from thinking of you.

God i pray that things are fine. I miss u .

My parent got me a silver ring. I wasnt happy in the process of buying the ring. Forget it, will get one for myself again. I love rings a lot too. HAIX. I want ear rings too. Will get myself one pair. hehe..

feeling quite upset . I lost control of myself...

Tmr sch reopen le. Felt a bit weird! No need to go sch, the feeling is weird. Gg to work instead .. I miss my school. My fav school. I miss my teachers. My fav chers. My dear teachers, JIA YOU!

Chatted with MR TAN yesterday night. Yea, will sms him out one day to makan =) . He doesnt allow me to treat him makan. I explained to him my view , he told me that he understand and was v happy that i have those kind of thoughts. He said he will wait for me to go back to school to collect my results. Thankz MR TAn. At least there is someone who can lend me his shoulder if it is tears of sorrow. Mr Tan, i never treat u as ms fong's subsititute. I treat the 2 of u differently. HAHA. Even if she is there on that day, i would be v touched if you were there to support me too. You jia yOU ya !

I miss TJC a lot. i saw Mr Tan DP yesterday. A pic of TJC. I really miss my teachers. =(
i love all of them. HA... i show Mr TAn my DP too. I told him that MS fong and I built the bear together. HAha.. of course he did say that it is nice. I told him her name , ( WANDERFONG) and he said he understand. hahaa.. Of course ya, it is so easy!

I was v drunk yesterday night. I drank long island tea. Not v nice though . It is a mixture of cola and rum etc... cant rmb. AFter drinking, i was feeling v giddy and tired. I fall on my bed and slp till like a pig! I thought i could 4get everything but i obviously i could not! When i was sober again this morning , the thoughts of you came back to my mind again. Mayb Mr tan was right , it doesnt help at all to just drink and be drunk.

Do u understand how i feel? =(

Im Liwan. I love to be loved, pampered. I want to be the superest girl but i always fail to be one. I want to be a teacher next time. Currently at the age of 21. Birthday 5th Jan