wake up at ard 4.45 am..

So i bought a lot of things from malaysia.. I mean nt really a lot la.. ha.. My Aunt and mum are gd at bargaining sia. I hope the people there still can earn money.

Super tired...

dun noe wht to blog though i have a lot to say...

i guess i have rest enough.. Gonna start mugging from tmr onward.. getting back GP tmr. Hope for the bless.. So far haven fail any sub...

I Will always want to be ur star student! Ur student is on the way back!!

HAix..
SUPER BAD MOOD. HAIZ.. WHY DO U SAY SUCH THINGS??????????? I THOUght U ARE like The BEST la.. Wa lao.. sianz diao...

Finished IJC paper.. DIn look at any notes.. trying learn my study method from chemistry. YES, I WANNA an A.. I am determined to do well.. Jia You liwan...

GG malaysia tmr le..need to start studying GP... =(

Wanna have chem consultation on MOn leh.. But dun noe can a lot.. sianz.. Dun feel like msging her.. cos a bit pai seh...

see how.. let nature takes its course?

Wake up v early today ! met up with yl to have breakfast together.. =) just catch up lor..

Feel lyk a real slacker..

Gg facial later??? =P.. enjoying life?? haah...

So gg to finish maths paper 1 , chem paper and GP HW!! jia you ba...

HmMMM.. saw ms fong in the morning... told her that she is v pretty.. Ha.. and she will be super HAPPY!! ha.. okay la, i mean she is pretty. =) We talked a lot.

After assembly we have chem tut with 10/06.. She screwed up everythinG! A lot of people dun understand what she is saying. So i took the initative to help her. I went forward and correct her equation. Yupz. I guess this is what we meant by learning together?

After chem tut was econ.. haix.. My econ... sob sob...

After that chem lecture!! Trying to beg marks from ms fong BUT i am v proud of her . hehe.. she didnt award me the marks...

After maths lecture i decided to go makan. hee.. Then started on JJC chem paper 3. B4 that i saw ms fong.. I told her that i have a secret to tell her!! heeh.. =P Then Ms Shawn said " WOW! secret... " hhaa.. then i started saying : " You are a nice teacher!! " and why? haha.. I told her cos she din award me the marks... and i told her abt my exp with Spiderman!! haha.. Then i told her a lot of things abt chem. i am v disappointed with my paper 2. Its my own prob!! I WILL NOT let it happen anymore. Then i told her i wanna do well. I asked her abt teh card i wrote for her. And we talked a lot. Then she told me that she is nt gg to give the extra lessons.. =( No choice lor... hehe.. Jia yOU! she said left 2 more weeks!! Then i told her " I WANT ICE-CREAM!!!! ".. i sounded like a baby!! haha.. of course she din 4get... YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
to be frank , i dun really v keen to eat ice-cream but hehe.. with my FAV teacher!! yEA!!!!!!!!!! happy!

So i started doing my chem paper. Timing myself.. Really racing with the time =( ... sitting in front of amelia!.. then after that some of the teachers approached me and talked.... Mrs Than? Mdm Lim ?? Mr Ang?? and a few more... hehe.. so somehow i gave myself extra 10 mins to finish the paper. din manage to do 7m ques on transition metal!! =( =(

So Nw i am gg off to look at my chem again.. need to correct certain things.. =) JIA YOU liwan...

ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO EAT ICE-CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.. gt back my maths le.. in the low 50s ba.. nt v upset.. Still alrite... Have to really make a diff btw nw and A level. Hopefully everything will be fine 4 me..

Cant slp well lately. Still v affected by my chemistry results. I am just nt strong enough to overcome it.

Went to see ms angeline this morning. The first thing she asked me was the 4HW. Yupz.. I managed to tell her. She gave me another HW. HA.... She asked for my results. She was very happy. She said that my results are good. She wanna me to continue to jia you! She told me to stay positive no matter how i perform for my GP and Econ. Ms angeline, I will jia you! I wont wan to disappoint u and of course other teachers who care for me.

having consultation tmr 9.30am. Just awhile. To be honest, I am a bit scared of chem consultation. later gt scolded by ms fong again. haix... ( have to bear with it )

Hopefully star student can come back soon!!

Hmm.. meet up with si ying.. Waited for like 1hr. But i din wate my time la.. I tried the revision lecture exercise on dy/dx... Will try to finish intergration tonite...

feeling beta? nt sure.. Still v upset over my chemistry... =(

I know chemistry is nt everything but i love chem?

Jia you ba..

haix..

I THINK I CAN GO AND DIE LIAo. My chem paper 3 turns out to be fine.. and above average BUT MY PAPER 2 was like sHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .. sob sob... I am such a silly gal. I regret sia. i truly suckz...

Saw Mr Ang! i kept running away from him. He stopped me and told me that i passed my maths. HE WAS VERY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said that i have made improvement!! YEAHHHHHHH...... He said he is hoping for an A in my A level. ha... ms yang was quite happy too. she said she can hope for an A too.. HAHA... YEA!!!!! Happy happy happy!!!!!!! MS YANG , I LOVE U !!!

Let ms fong see my Timetable le.. She said is gd to prac a lot but need to consolidate. Yupz.. Will do that then. Pass her the card that i have written in chi.. Hopefully she bothers to read. She was v happy and she said that she will ask the chi teacher to help her....

Jia you liwan... Tired... =(

Tired...

Din get back my chem paper. I was tooooo scared.

ms fong gave me HW sia... She told me to find 3 words from the dictionary which can replace teh words jia yoU! ...

Wont find lor. haix.. tired.. I mean i will find la.. I probably gg to write a card full of chi words..
tired.............................

Just came back from tuition..

Super Not In the gd Mood... Sadded...

I DONT WANT TO FAIL CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MS FONG , I DONT WANT TO FAIL!!!!!!!!! I WANNA DO WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOB SOB... feel like crying.. ice cream???

Just came back.. Gt back my physics. Haiz.. rely on paper 1.. But how can my paper 1 do well???

Feel a bit numb.. Trying to be happy ...

Came back early to Plan my stuff.. and start afresh.. Hopefully this is rite...

Went to loyang there to pray... i prayed for MS yang!!!!!!!!!! and of course her unborn baby!!!!!!!!! Just wanna her to be happY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ms yang, I love u !!! hehe... I care for u =)
Sorry ya, made u upset over my easy maths paper. haix.. I will work harder!!

Hmmm... I am still thinking abt my dream. I am scared. This is my first time dreaming abt someone's death. I mean its okay for me after i know that i have helped that person to lengthen her life expectancy. But i am just scared. Do u know how i feel after knowing that u left this world? I was LOST. It was too sudden. I was unconvinced. I kept calling u , yet i cant reach u. I was left alone..... =( Pls take care!

Tmr is mon.. I am scared. But its okay... Jia you!

I had a VERY bad DREAM last Night....

I dreamt that someone pass away!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wake up with fear lor.. I told my ah ma first. She helped me interpret. The dream means that i am helping her to lengthen her life expectancy. Using my life to exchange her life. This means that my life has been shorten. I was like " PHEW"... I asked my mum, she said the same thing... "heng sia".. at least my dream wont come true.... Then i asked my dad. " wah!! where gt good "... i thought smthg bad is gonna happened! Then i asked him why? Apparently, he said the same thing as my ah ma... Then he told me " ur life is shorten where gt GOOD!!!!!!!!!! ".... I was like "hUh".. Hehe.. I 4get to care for myself... But its okay la.. As long as she is alrite can le!! Scary.... =(

God, bless the people ard me .. let them live longer.. let them hav the opportunities to travel ard the world. Let them have the opportunities to do what they like. ..

SO tired.. feel like sleeping ... Having a bad headache... Is time to pack my table later.. =P... Give me a break sia...

Oh ya.. HAve maths tuition later... =(

Hmm...

Went out together with si yinG! i really appreciate her company. Mug hard. I am sure u can make it to unI k?

We went to art friend. Their Things are v EX YA!!! So i decided to get my things from pop central. That is the largest POP!! 5 storey?? hehe... I bought a sketch book, i box of sparkling pen, one piglet bookmark, and one frame.

I just realised that my art nt v BAD LOr.. HAHA... I started to draw and draw... and write and write... I thInk i am just too free...

having maths tuition tmr. MISSING MY MS YANG!! ha.. So funny.. need to give them $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

hav to start packing my stuff probably tmr. Trying to stay adhere with my 4 HW. =(

haev to come out with a time table soon.....

Always look forwards to MON. BUT nw i dont? I am scared!! But liwan, be brave? Accept the situation hao ma? stay focus ? jia yoU !

just finished my breakfast.....

had a v weird dream n that happened in sch...i was crying over certain things.... i am a cry baby...

i wanna pack my table!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but nt sure where to start from.. sadded....

gg to art friend later.. asking si ying to tag along.. ha.. hopefully she can make it.. if nt i will go myself lor...

Was counting the nos of mistakes i made for mcq... Argh.. stupid careless mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just came back from dinner. Ate a lot. I guess my DAD is really nice la... haa..I love him. I know he cares for me a lot.

Thinking of a lot of things in the car. Thinking of chem paper 3. Can u imagine i can do the same ques which paper 3 asked in paper 1. I think at that time i was really v scared. Nw i need to accept the situation and really think of what to do. I have thought over what ms angeline , mdm Koh and ms fong said.

I am tired.. Just wanna slp. Time of the mnth! Give me a break b4 i start ? Jia yoU !

Hmmm.... Prelim is over..... And somehow my dream to become a YEAR three teacher has also come to an end...

Afetr physics paper, i sat under TRC and Rot while waiting for ms angeline. Hmm.. then Mdm kOh approached me and talked to me. Somehow i know how u feel. Sorry, i din consider how u feel.

Just too tired. Slept for one hr only cos i was t hinking of chemistry all the while. Hmm ard 10 .15, i walked into the drop in room. Kind of scary !! is my first time.

ms angeline started off telling me that she all along thought that my name is " Li Wen ".. haha.. then i told her is alrite ! But she said is impt to her.

i told her i lost myself after the chem paper. I told her how i feel and everything. She said she v proud of me. A HIGH scorer for O level can nw make it for prelim. She v proud. She know that i have come v far. I told her what i want. I told her abt my desire to wanting to give ms fong that BIG PRESENT! She said Ms fong IS sooooooooooooooo LUCKY. Ha... I was like "hUH"... Cos a student who actually dare to say that she wanna give her teacher the "big present " and She is working soooooooooooo hard for it.. dont u think that she is lucky?? I was like "huh" again.. She gave me 4 HW.

1) To accept the situation. Be determine that i wanna to change!
2) isolate all the negative people or thoughts
3) never 4get all the positive people who can drive me v far
4) Pressure ( strike a balance )

Yupz.. I told her (3) is the easiest. I quoted some examples. Then she started saying that i am v lucky. I do know that!

she said that she v happy talking to me !! ha.. cos somehow she felt appreciated. I mean of course la.. She so nice. Willing to lend me her time . Then after that i told her abt the study plan that i wanna to come up with. She encourages me to continue to do what i am doing. Ha.. YEA! Thankz You. She said i have the discipline. I told her i will show her when i finished it. She said she wanna see me on Thurs. Yupz. Thankz YoU! she gave me a chocolate after everything.. ha

After that i called ms fong. She was busy. I told her that i just came out of the drop in room. She asked me "hOW?" .. I told her i think the super-est counsellor is still the best ! .. haa.. We laughed together. We talked for a while then she need to go do her things.

MS angeline, thankz yoU! a very nice teacher- counsellor.. Will try to make smthg for u.. ahah..

Went to sch today. Complete ard 4 chaps of physical chem MCQ .. V sianz. The Ques are v easy =) but i dun noe what will happen tmr.. Sianz... Sadded...

Mr Ang approached me this afternoon. He called my name! " LIWAN! , Persevere on! Towards the end !! " I was shocked. He wont say such things to students de! but anyway, Thankz you Mr Ang!!! After that ms fong approached me. She asked me what papers i am having today. Lolx.. I told her i am just doing chem MCQ cos tmr gt paper 1. She wanna buy things for me to eat but hehe.. Nvm...

Went out with mdm koh for lunch. She shares with me her problems. After that she told me to " gan en" ( be thankful ) . She started to say that i should be thankful that i have ms fong to help me etc.... Lolx.. She made me guilty instead. She told me nt to make ms fong worried. ( ha.. But i think mdm koh worried abt me more lor) .... Then i told her that i tried to laugh and smile in front of her liao... hehe.. We started to laugH! Yupz.. mdm Koh , U are a v nice teacher !!! I think u are noble instead. Dun worry , i wont 4get to gan en. I have a lot to say after i gt back my prelim results. =( I will slowly go gan en! mdm Koh , i really understand what u meant.

I am sorry to all those who really care abt me. I am v sorry. i know i shldnt be so selfish. I always care abt the fact that i am gg to fail chemistry but i din really care abt those who are always there worrying abt me. Those who always try hard to cheer me up? Those who offer to buy lunch for me? Those who always there to encourage me?

I AM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really love u guyz a lot! Thankz You !

Tmr is chem paper 1. Kind if scared. Nt sure of the reason. I topped mcqs for the past 2 lecture tests. What will be the vedict tmr? Tired.. Too tired to know.. Gonna go study..

Saw ms fong on my way to sch.. she tried to cheer me up. She bought me soya bean though i told her i dun want. I appreciate it. Thankz you! She told me that after drinking the soya bean i will be merrier. Indeed i feel beta but that din happen after the chem paper 2. haix.. It was a tough paper but haix. I really suckz. After that she talked to me again. She teased me lor and said that i was frightened again etc... i told her that i will be seeing ms angeline. She said she noe. She said she is gd at reading my mind but i doubt so. She said that if Ms Li is one of the counsellors i would have chosen her. I told her that if Ms Fong May Ee is one of them, i definitely have chosen HER. haix.. She told me that she has been doing that for 2 years le ( trying to counsel me ) and i asked her why cant she continue ? She said " now we need 2 !!" then i told her after seeing ms angeline i will look for her....

After that i saw Mdm Koh. This teacher of mine is a very caring one. She is always there worrying abt me. She approached me and told me what she told ms fong yesterday.. HAix. I AM LIKE " OH DEAR!!!!!!!".... she made me sound so bad... She told ms fong that i treat her differently from the rest of the teachers. haix. I dun noe ? mayb this is what we known as Affinity? Mdm Koh told ms fong that i owe her a lot in my previous life. =( that is bad!!! .. so malu... I guess their common topic is "ME"... Mdm Koh told me a lot of things. She told me that i am so far the first student she came across who is sooooooooooooooooo weird compare to the rest of the students. HA.. Really? At least i know i am first in some areas like this??? we chatted a while then she bought some fruit for me. Thankz yoU! U are like a mother to me. Thankz you ! I love u ....

Bought the tissue boxes today. trying hard to draw the piglets. Hopefully they look good. Left chem papers 1 and physics paper 1. Sianz....
I cant wait to see ms angeline and i hope she can just like me cry n cry n cry.... Then after that i will go look for ms fong for TISSUEs.

I was studying organic chemistry just nw.... And i received a sms from mdm koh!!!!!!!!!

She said that she suddenly think of me .. and told me to jia you cos she still wanna me to go shopping with her.. Then somehow i felt like crying when i started to reply her. i told her i was v upset over my chem paper. i told her that regardless what i do , i will feel like crying.

She smsed me what ms fong told her. ms fong told her that i will be a perfect person if i am a confident gal. At that point of time i was v touched. She told me that nt to let all my chers worried abt me. A lot of teachers care about me. I was very touched. I told her somehow this is why people said nthg is perfect in this world. =( ... After that i smsed ms fong to thankz her. I told her how i feel. I really appreciate it. Give me some time? when i am ready to face u, i will sms u ...

After that mdm koh replied my sms... She told me that she not need to go down to the contact list to find my no. She can already rmb my nos. Cos she really cares for me. Mdm koh, thankz you.. You guys made me speechless....

SORRY TO ALL THOSE TEACHERS WHO REALLY CARED FOR ME. I AM SORRY YA! GIVE ME SOME TIME ?? I WILL BE FINE SOON!!!!!!!!!!

HAIX... I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AND YELLING AND CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT STAND ANYMORE................ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



Ms yang called me to clear my doubts. She is a v nice teacher... MS yang, i love u !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know i will break down one more time... sooner or later... I am v sure...

having maths tmr.. I feel nthg ! just gonna give my best.. A bit numb nw... I really suckz...

I hate my MAID.. I am sooooo gonna wait for the new one to come.. i wont even wan to see her off...

Today gonna study maths..

Wanna do well for chem, econ n maths? is it really that tough???

i still cannot erase the thoughts of my fear in the exam hall for chem. God, please teach me to have more confidence... grant me with more wisdom n intelligence? I wanna do well!!!!!!!! =(

Well.. studied chemistry just nw... somehow cleared physical chem... quiet happy with my electrochemistry calculation...

Will complete the rest on Mon...

was chatting with KS just nw. I guess bth of us are upset over the prelim. But haiz.. just stay positive.. no choice....


Tmr will chiong maths.. So tired... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling quite down... Yes, is over the same thing.... Hmmm... Will try to get over it!!!!!! managed to talk to my sister. I guess the only problem nw lies on myself. ITS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ME?????

study econ just nw.. It is nt as gd as last time. BUt later i will do it again ! i Mean i will really stay focus !! Studying chem now. =( .. CAN DE CAN DE!!! I am so gonna score for paper 2 n 1 .. Wait for me!

hehe.. went to photocopy my timetable. hehe.. Went to look for the cute guY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is v nice. he asked me how's life. And of course he mentioned abt my prelim. I told him that my life really suckz at this pt of time. I really hate it! =( he said he can understand how i feel. He told me to jia you and he was quite busy too..... Ha.... then i decided nt to disturb him liao... after that he told me to look up for him if ever i need to pour out my happiness.. HAa.. Nt bad rite??? yupz.. thankz you sia.. next time buy u a thankz you card.... i guess at least he brightened up my day... =(

One more week to go...

feeling numb now.. I din expect one chemistry paper can hav so much impact on me. I am really very upset. No matter what i am doing, i am always thinking abt my chem paper.. that kind of feeling is torturous..

doing econ and chemistry today. I am hope that i am nt wasting time... HAO SHANG XIN...

Just came back from sch.. managed to complete STATS... still hav pobability.. slowing down my pace... Will finish maths tonite and will do econ tmr.. I will continue with chemistry too...

still trying to convince myself that i am gd... Still trying to forget what had happened on wed.. still trying to pick myself up...

I took half an hr to reply ms fong's sms.. I dun noe how to ans her. i told her to give me some time and we will talk again next time.. We will arrange an appointment together. Yupz.. Thankz, i know you really care a lot.. I know you wanna help me.. but i am just nt ready to talk to u abt it. I am sorry. AFter prelim, we will go eat MAC or KFC again k?

Hmm.. saw ms li ard 1 plus ... then we went out to makan , I ate jelly then i treated her orange juice. Ha.. it took me a v hard time to treat her.. She tried to cheer me up.. Thankz ya.. She is a v nice teacher. I can tell that she loves teaching a lot.. Jia you.. we exchange nos today... Next wed is her Birthday .. =) Jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we crap a lot.. ha...

After that i carried on with my econ.. yupz.. =)

I cant wait to speak to ms angeline.. I guess my appointment with ms fong would be after ms angeline ba.. Yupz..

I will wan to do well for tues paper.. I will try to kill that paper. Ms Li, thankz you!

i cried again... still thinking of my chem paper...

My dad came to talk to me.. He is a super nice dad.. He told me abt his experiences. He met a lot of setbacks but he said that it is part n parcel of life. He is v nice.. Then he started to show off that he is gd in a lot of things even though he doesnt have a cert. Then i told him that is cos of that therefore i am so stupid!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then he said " who say i am stupid. Is true that i dun noe eng but at least i know a few alphabets..... and he started to figure out a word .. which is " IOVE"... haha.. I started to laugh.. he spelt wrongly!!!! and i told the correct spelling.. !! he never fails to put a smile on my face... He is v sweet !! Still thinking of how he spelt love.. he struggled a while.. Indeed , he is very smart! he managed to be a big boss. He doesnt need to do anything .. just need to know how to sign cheques and received $$$$$$$$$.. I guess i am quite proud of him. The way he faces life!!!!!!!!! Daddy, u are gd! I love u ... I wanna buy smthg for u ... wait for me k??? =)

Gonna continue to study .. jia yoU !

Where are u when i needed u the most???????????????
What happened to all the promises?


Tired... went to sch to study.. I am definitely still v sad... How many of you understand how i feel?? haix...

Went out for lunch with mdm Koh.. We din talk much cos i was really speechless.. I tried to talk to her but .... i still chose to be quiet...

Left linear regression, sampling for stats.. Jia you ba....

Bought MAC home... reminded me of what ms fong said.. She wanna bring me go mac after prelim.. she wanna book an appointment for me with her... haix.. i am just nt in the mood to do anything....

One more week to go... will look for hui hua's teacher soon... She is v nice...... thankz you!

haix.. gonna fail chem.. the paper was easy.. But somehow gt the phobia...

Went to look fro ms fong after the paper to collect the entry proof... i tried to control my tears but i cant.. And so i cried for another one hr... She spent a long time console'g me... I told her that whenever i see physical chem, i will have the phobia... It is so scary.. She told me that i cried for nthg cos she felt that my concepts are already there... and she said that i am gd ... is just that i dun believe in myself..i told her that i am v tired to go on.. I mean my life in TJc when really suck when it come to academics? or mayb i shld say is exam... I definitely love to learn from my chers and everything.. but haix...

After that i saw ms Li... We hugged each other.. she is a very nice teacher. Thankz you ms li..

Nt gg to study today cos i am truely disappointed... Liwan, jia yoU!

Tired.. Just finished organic chem.. is kind of pathetic isnt it??

Still have physical chem and inorganic chem.. sianz... Gonna start inorganic chem first and then move on to 5 chaps of physical chemistry. That's all i gonna study.... stay positive??/ trying to believe that i can make a diff... Jia you ba

My eyes are closing.. hope to slp b4 2.. But how likely is it?

Be the super-est .. is never easy!

Maths paper was very easy yet i din manage to do some of the questions. I am definitely very disappointed with myself. If i pass it would be a just pass.. The only thing i can console myself is that i have improved for paper 1? Hope so. Always used to fail paper 1 ... during mid yr , i only gt 17/50 for paper 1... But i guess it would be better this time round? Hope so ba..

I was super upset with my econ. Did 2 tough ques which mean that i may nt b able to score.. haix.. nw i only can pray that i would pass alll my essays.. Haix... Nw, really hope that DRQ wont be a killer...

so what's next ? chem paper 3 tmr... have to jia you lor.. must study v hard tonite.. Will look at chem bonding, ionic equilibrium, organic chem, inorganic chem, electrochem, energetics, ideal gas.. That's all ba ...

LIWAN!! jia you ... =(

be the SUper-est !!!!!!!

Start to feel a bit scared ya.. 2 impt papers tmr.. HAIX

Somehow read thru the last few chaps of mAcro... haix.. v bad.....

Now i shall REstudy the whole of macro again.....

Wont read thru micro .. only till tmr... I guess i wil spend 45mins tmr on micro and the rest of my time on MACRO!!!!!!!!! God help me pls...

LIWAN , jia yoU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of hungry... Will slp ard 2 plus ba... can u imagine tmr have maths yet i still slp so late... Haix.. So screwed up...

Start of prelim today.. Looking foward for it to end. saw ms fong this morning on my way to school... I was amazed and quite shocked that you really go and queue for the donuts. Thankz you! Guess what i told her? Hmm.. " No need to take prelim liao cos confirm A.. haha".. She queued for one and the half hr too.. she said that becos of me, other teachers gt to eat too.... Guess what was my reaction? ha.. I quickly replied her and said " shldnt it be the other way round? becos of the teachers, i gt to eat??? haha... " Okay la.. We crapped a lot.. Told her abt ms yang!! she can really sense my happiness... We din mention what the things that had happned on Fri. I din manage to apologise. She encouraged me on my way to school. She kept telling me that i can do it. AFter that i told her that i must really do well for GP if nt mdm lim will be disappointed. She continued to encourage me.. I mean i appreciate it !! She wished me good luck b4 i go. I told her that it is already an A cos gt the donuts. I asked her if it is possible to give me one b4 every of my papers... haah... she wanna to give me the whole box.. haha.. Thankz you! i was really amazed by you and i know you purposely buy it last week cos you wanna to give me on the first day of my prelim! =)

Just cleared 2 papers. GP paper 1 was alrite. I really hope to do well !!!!!!!! But paper 2 was super tough =( .. sob sob.. But mdm lim said that it was v easy.. i am dead.. ARGH!!! She stopped for awhile and said " you have tried ur best rite? then that's enough"... I was speechless after that.. Thankz mdm Lim...

Physics paper was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nt tough .. The 2 essay ques was super easy and i think i can pass... But what's the point of passing essay and fail structure? I cant do the structure Q at all.. sob sob....haix.. I tried my best le.....

Tired... Tonite will be a yucky day... Wanna chiong and chiong.. Gonna study maths then econ throughout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.. Just finished bathing.. More refresh now.. =) Brush my teeth too... Well, not preparing to sleep yet..Still wanna to study GP =) .. hehe

After this prelim , i need to start to plan a studyplan for A level cos i seriously feel that i had done something wrong this time. Not sure what is wrong but i felt that it is not very gd =( . Will sit down and analyse my study method. =( After prelim, i need to be even more discipline. sadded... No time to go shopping and have fun??

Oh ya, my mother is giving $ 500 if i am gg to pull out one of my teeth. Nthg wrong with it but she felt that there is a need to do so. She will reward me with $500. It is super appealing . See how ba.. CAn someone accompany me ??

Well, trying hard to concentrate... LIwan, u can de =) I guess long ago, the wound has already exist is just that i din noe until u accidentally added salt onto it. I guess i chose to live in denial. Haix.. nvm...

LIWAN, Jia you !!!!!!!!! Have faith in urself... =(

MS YANG IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPy for U!!!!!!! Not long ago u were still telling me that you din bring anything back from holland.. BUT NW!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha... U are pregnant!!!!!!!!! Ms yang, congrats!!!! Finally... Love u so much... Hehe.. U so funny ya.. You thought that u have told me and you said that it could be in the dream.. HA.. But I was happy that at least i could appear in ur dream sia... ha... ms yang!!!!!!!! ha... Tina was v excited too.. her reaction was kind of a bit slow.. haha.. Bleh...

So gonna really mug very hard tonite since tmr is the start of prelim. =( a lot of things to do............ sob sob.. sadded... GP and Physics.. =( jia you ba... I wanna watch TV too.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......... That guy is so cute and innocent.. hah.... I always like to purposely walk pass him and say HI... haha... Wait la.. After prelim will Go find u ... I wont look v stress .. haha

Just finished studying physics. One rd only.. haix... will do again later.. =)

Gonna go POM POM then chiong GP.. Must do well for GP? How i define well? Hmm.. pAss ba.. HAha.. dun noe.... Cant focus sia... There is one word which kept appearing in my head " confidence".. I dun noe... I cant seem to 4get what happened on fri. Though those are words of encouragement , i just break down. yes, i know i am good . i guess i am trying hard to be the best ........ Ya..... nvm.... I rmb last yr b4 promo also like that.. Haix.. Sianz diao.. But that din affect me much. I guess is cos this time is Prelim ... =(

Saw the new timetable.... Sch end super early.. That's gd.. ha.. No la.. will still be in sch.. so no diff............ tired.. Gonna go POM POm n chiong GP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

slept at 1 plus yesterday nite........ just taken my breakfast. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn tired...

studied physics yesterday nite. Left diffraction, electromagnetism , electricity and Quantum ... So after blogging , i will try to finish physics. Wanna to do econ but i am nt sure if i have the time cos i need to start memorising all the Gp facts.............. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

God bless me with wisdom can? I am tired...... =(

Just finished writing all the examples that i could find on my notebook. Yupz =) Have to start memorising tmr since the paper is on MON. O dear, i don't think i have the time to do so. That is so last minute. Sorry mdm lim , i will try my best! Thankz for ur encouragement =) . Thankz for always telling me that i am good . I know you always want me to have more confidence but .. haix. I will try my best .

Hmm.. left complex and vector for maths paper 1. Tmr having ms yang's tuition. Luckily she will be gg thru stats tmr , if not i am SO DEAD. =(

Gonna to study Physics =( Gonna burn midnight oil. Though its like 10 chaps??? Just need to memorise the definitions? and formulae? and the rest leave it to my performance on MON. I know it wont be an easy paper but will give what i can . =(

I wanna do well for my GP. I mean at least a pass pls =( Next week 's paper mean a lot to me. Esp all the H2 and GP. Maths paper 1 , chem paper 3 and econ paper 2 ( essay? ) .. Jia you .... I need to get the bulk of mark from these papers. =( Jia you BA..............................................

Tired...

Wont deny that what u said yesterday has affected my well-being.. I am still thinking of what u have said. Well, you din hurt me but i am just a bit lost after hearing what u have said. I dont really get what you meant. I know i may not have confidence , i may be very scared but why do you feel frustrated? Is that how you response when your students have no confidence? Is that how you response when your students are afraid? This leads me to a lot of doubts. I understand that you care therefore you were frustrated. I never blame you at all because in my heart you are always one great teacher.

Hmmm... trying to finish protein later. Finished inorganic chemistry. I wont say that it is very gd but i have tried my best already. Will move on to maths later then GP. Will try to finish physics by tonite. =(

LIWAN, U gonna have more confidence. You can de. JIA YOU...

Welll.................................
FINALLY I BREAK DOWN LE................................................................................ and it was infront of ms fong...

I knew that was coming. She was v frustrated with me. i could sense it after asking her a few ques . Towards the middle of consultation, i told her that i was v scared so i dun noe hw to do. AND from then, she started telling that she was v frustrated not because i have a lot of ques to ask her. She doesnt mind spending 2 or 3 days just to help me... She said she was frustrated cos she felt that i do not have confidence at all. She felt that it was impeding my progress. She said that i noe a lot of things. And from my standard , no one will noe that my L1R5 was that lousy. She felt that i am definitley above average and so on... I started to cry............................................................................. And she just kept saying n saying........ and i just kept crying n crying. She apologised. She thought that she was v harshed. No! u are nt . U are nt a tyrant. You are always the best. I was v frank to her that i really hate chem consultation. Cos REALLY SUCKZ......... she started laughing and continued to say that i am gd and everything. She said that she has faith in me..........But that wasnt how i feel at all.. i really dun noe how to do those ques. I mean haix... sometimes i really thing u overestimate me le.............. haix..... I gave her the donuts. she rejected initially but i told her that Q for like hrs just for her... And finally she kept it.

She left me alone under LT cos she needs to settle things. She wanna me to give her a call b4 i left sch. So ard 2 plus i called her. I told her that i give her things which students might nt be able to give her. And i felt that i hav done my part. As for the "A" , i suppose a lot of students can give her. i cited a lot of examples. Yupz, she was speechless too. I am tired.... She kept telling me to jia you .... and i told her i cant promise her. I am scared. I asked her abt the donuts. She said the dark chocolate was nicer than the strawberry de.. =) i told her i persevere thru lor.. ha.. cos last time she Q for 1/2 and gave up.. she said she gonna Q another time next week. She gonna get the donut for me... SO i will wait n see... And obviously i reminded her that she still owe me a big present. .. hAIx..

I am v tired la.. this really suckz... I wanna slp.. just came back from maths tuition. =( MS yang.. hehe.. i love u .. ahah...

Gonna finish chem tonite by all means... Hope so la.. cos nw i am v tired......................................

Trying hard.. trying v hard....

Life really suckz at this point of time...I guess all i need is someone to be here with me... tell me " liwan u can de" .. ha.. I need someone to stand by me.. always....

Study chemistry for the whole day.. Physical chem shld be more or less done...

Trying hard to memorise inorganic chemistry... =( .. that suckz............................. I thought i am always gd at memory work but i really doubt my ability sia.. SOB SOB SOb....

Selene asked me a few chem ques.. I mean REMEDIAL QUES. When I Looked at AJC REMEDIAL QUES.. I WAS SHOCKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
THEIR QUES WERE TOUGH... I Mean our chem remedial ques are super easy. To me , their remedial ques are like TJC supplementary ques.. Ha.... but will share with ms fong other sch tutorials and exam papers after My As.. She wanna share with the chem department ba...

Having consultation tmr.. start from 9 am..sms ms fong to confirm just nw.. cos i scared to wait for her... haix... YAWN.. haix.. I hope can finish la..

Okay la.. Gonna wash my face and brush my teeth.. Need to mug again.. i wanna complete at least grp 2 n 7 at least.. =(

I WANNA BE THE SUPER-EST STUDENT!!!!!!!!!

Dreamt of u yesterday nite.... U took up my 8 hrs of slp. Hmm.. I guess from that dream i really understand certain things. U told me how u feel.... But i am nt sure i wanna u to feel like in reality cos i am tired... see ba..

Just wake up.. had my breakfast. Its DONUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe... Not bad la.. i ate the dark chocolate de. I must try first b4 i give ai ais and ms fong cos later nt nice then i paiseh.. haha... But i think ai ais will like it!!!!!!!! COS IS FROM ME!!!!!!!!!! bleh.. I miss u ...

Okay.. need to go mug chem... Let me see what am i doing today......
I AM CHIONG'g CHEM N MATHS? HEHE.. I WANNA DO ECON TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .. help me...
Will definitle slp late tonite.. Need to do at least 2 chem paper ( timed) If nt i dun noe hw to ans ms fong tmr.. HAix... K... Then chiong maths!!!!!!!

Tired........

Just came back.. and it is only 9pm.. HA...

Selene !!!!!!!!!! ha.. u never change ya.. 4ever so chatty and humorous.. Must jia you for prelim k??? Love u ... I am glad that we still can crap like last time... U never fail to brighten up my day... pls study hard k? we are meeting soon again... =)

bought smthg for Mr Low. Teacher's day present!!!!!!! yupz... I guess will only pass it to him after prelim. Sorry ya...

Q for donut. Took us 1.5 hrs.. Ha.. quite fun la.. =) i bought 1 dozen. So giving ai ai 1 each then giving ms fong cos i owe her de. but later she rejects again.. haix.. tiring leh..

K.. is time to mug chem again.. LIWAN ALL THE WAY...

Hmmm.. Finished Mr Looh's HW but it wasnt a gd job cos a lot dun noe hw to do.. Gonna clear it on fri with ms fong...

tried 2 prelim MCQ papers . Hmmm manage to get less than 10 mistakes. But again this 2 JCs are nt the SUPEr gd ones?. haix.. Hmm.. one JJC, another SAJC.. I dun have the courage to try TJc de.. BUt i will do that tmr... dun worry...

GoNNA START TO read my lectures notes le. Will try to finish half of the physical chem by today ... Going out later so i guess will finish it by late nite ba... having a bad gastric.. Stomach feeling quite weird.. =( =( =( =( haix, that's the disadvantage of not touching the notes for sooooooooooooo long. Guess what, i always do all the prelim papers and revision ex and all other prac w/o referring to notes.. Some may say it is gd .. but i feel that it is gd to go back n look again... HEHEHE................................................. PAIN PAIN....

LIWAN MUST JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I AM A FAT PIG )

Wake up quite early today. Ard 8 30.. started to study at ard 9.15... JUst finished one round of revision. Not v bad la.. I still can recall what i studied yesterday. SO I left ard 2 chaps for micro economic... Yupz..

Gonna Go POM POM le.. after that i can start on chem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But will finish Mr Looh's HW first. Jia you!

Be the super-est!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

trying hard to rush thru micro economics. I am nt very sure if it is productive a not but i have no choice.. Manage to finish the market structure and objectives of firm and the firms and hw they operate.. ( that's quite a lot )

So what's my plan? Hmmmmm... GONNA SLEEP??? But cant really slp leh since i drank coffee... haix..
--> will wake up early tmr ( hopefully ) to restudy what i have studied today for econ.
---> after that i will chiong chemistry =( .. haix.. For like 2hrs? ) see how much i can memorise lor...
---> Meet selene...
---> Will study till v late again lor.. Think so...

HAIX.. Then i think thurs i will chiong chemistry and maths .. Thats' my plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then fri, sat n sun will chiong physics n GP... Will try to squeeze in time for my Econ and maths and chem .....( but i will try to finish chem by fri ) Must settle Maths for paper 1 de... JIA YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRYING REALLY HARD TO BE THE SUPER-EST!!!!!!!!!!!

haix.. I always feel that my revision is bad.. haix.. i m DEAD....

I MUST FINISH 3/4 of Micro econ TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SCREAMING FOR HELP!!!!!!!!!!

I miss u a lot... ( can u feel that? ) No, u cant .. cos we are from two diff world.... haix...

Tired... Manage to go thru my macro econ.. Quite bad though... always forget the last part of exchange rate notes... haix.. BAd... manage to do a bit of physics....

So what am i doing tmr?
---> Mr Looh's hw
--> physics ( at least finish 2 chaps ba)
---> microeconomics
---> go home and file my inorganic chem =)

i hope tmr will be very productive ba.. stupid MP4.. always no batt.. dun noe what's wrong.. I wanna buy MP3.. I guess i will hunt for one after prelim.. SO jia yoU!!!!!!!!!!!

Saw ms Li just nw. She chatted with me.. hehe.. We talked abt the badminton. We are old woman liao.. ha.. whole body aching like mad la.. Yupz... I told her that i really feel like giving up.. sigh.. And she was v nice.. she encouraged me. Thankz ms li.. she shared with me her experience. She has the passion for teaching. Her rememdial last for 3hr.. I guess i will wanna be like her. I told her i hope her passion will last 4ever. After that she told me that if i gt A for chemistry, she is going to buy me smthg!!!!!!!!!! ha.. Then i told her if i can get A i will treat her makan la.. I guess she really feels that i can do it ... she was trying to encourage. I really appreciate it la. Ms li, even if i din get the "A" .. I will treat u to smthg or buy u smthg!!!!!!!! After that she gave me a packet of "panda" biscuits . Everywhere i go, people will tell me abt the panda biscuits. Haiz.. And i wonder why? I guess cos gt new flavour. CHEEZY!!!!!! ha.. but i always prefer original de ba.. That's what i told stephanie? Anyway, i was v touched. Hmm.. after prelim, i will go shop for smthg for her.. =)

Okay la.. need to go bathe le.. smelly cat.. Gonna mug physics!! physics can mug de meh??? lolz....

Here to blog again....

Feeling normal!!! Not v gd actually! Liwan, jia you k?

Went for maths tuition just nw. Not very bad.. I learnt quite a lot of things today. Happy happy happy!!!! Ms yang is the best .. ha.. bleh...

Still have to continue with econ today and probably tmr.. =( =( ... haix.. jia you ba.. doing physics tmr!!!!!!!!!!!! have to mug real hard for physics sia.. neglect for quite a long time.. HAix...

JIA YOU LIWAN... HAVE TO START DOING STATISTICS agaiN .. =( .. all the best............ I really need to plan well...

Tired.. Slept at 2 plus yesterday n wake up at ard 7.20. Well, went to offer prayers. Feel slightly beta.. i guess is psychological ba.. its okay...

Well, going out on wed.. hehe.. prelim is in one week time yet i still wanna go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha... going out with selene. Ha.. I miss u sia.. I mean we always crap.. have to study hard and really look 4ward to the outing. Hehe... Meeting her at ard 4... We gg to ecp.. haha..

Well, haev the oppotunity to talk to my dad just now. He is really a v gd daddy who loves me a lot. ( sorry ya, always bully u ) .. =P .. He tried to calm me down and tell me that take things easy. He gave me the assurance and everything.. I guess he is the only one who can give me the sense of security. I love u !! haha... Then after that my parents went on telling me nt to give all out to my teachers and frens cos they feel that they are not 100 percent geniue. i understand why they said that to me cos they felt that i am gulliable ... Dun worry ya!

Well, is time to mug again.. econ econ econ econ.. meeting MR IS at 10 am on tues for physics consultation. Will be doing physics tmr............ Jia you BA... =) One more week to prelim... =) stay positive.

I cant walk properly.. sianz.. whole body aching.. =( .. cant sit down too.. ha.. butt hurts.. ha.. I guess it was becos of the badminton game. I wonder how's ms Li.. haa... I bet her whole body is aching too.. ha.. =PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Anyway, i still feel quite upset . I felt like ur maid yesterday. Why treat me that way? i dislike the way u giggle? I dislike the way u thank me.. It is so fake... FINE, mayb is my fault . i shld have rejected u. I shldnt help u. U can just say that i am nt a gd student then. I am disgusted when i see the way u whine.. But its okay. I just have to submit to it....

Studied econ for the whole day! Gonna restudy the whole thing tonite.. wont be sleeping early today. I wanna to study hard. I wanna put aside a lot of things. =)

LIWAN, JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!! U CAN DE.. ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate you! I think sometimes i really hate u leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
But i thought the greatest happiness in life is to love n be loved. HAix... Nvm ... I guess sometimes people will hope that it is a 2 sided way of giving. I thought u understand how i feel leh... But still... I so gonna hate u ! ( but i doubt so la.. i think i say for fun only.. trying to vent my anger.. )

Mdm Koh sms me just nw. HAix... she is very noble. have a lot to learn from her... cher, jia you !

Gonna go le.. wanna study.. But still tired.. Need to chiong finish macro and physics today? hope sO .. need to start doing chiong maths too ... Jia you ! hOW??????? =( ..

Im Liwan. I love to be loved, pampered. I want to be the superest girl but i always fail to be one. I want to be a teacher next time. Currently at the age of 21. Birthday 5th Jan