Went to school today to collect result slips..Yupz, i played harmonica.. aha.. I guess ms fong din expect me to play that well. She was quite happy. Ms Ho was touched too. I did give a short speech b4 i start. haha.. Was quite scared thou... After everything, ms fong did say abt me la. Positive example! But i still believe that it takes 2 hands to clap. AFter that i show ms fong my timetable etc. She said shldnt be a problem. YEA!!!

After that we have OP till 11 plus. The OP was better than Yesterday one.. but still can be beta i believe. I will jia you de. God bless me. Went out with yan hing, janicia, novita,amelia. Okay , was relatively fun. We went New york to makan. we kept eating. I guess i must go on diet le. After that i went to but story book. aha..

tmr gg back to sch for OP and chinese consultation. Kind of tired already. MS yang send me all the maths prelim papers 2006 de. I guess i will really stay at hme and be nerd. HAix... no choice la.. i wan to clear My chinese and PW. I cant stand le. Sob sob sob..... Liwan , must stay strong.. but temptation is there leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobb... gg for dinner.. later study chinese.. haix.. life is so miserable...

part 2

Well, tmr confirm playing liao. Ms fong said "yes" . Nvm actually i anything one. i haven prac much yet. Will prac later. Went for chem tuition...Somehow understand chem equilibrium liao. Not that difficult actually =p . But i still have to prac a lot. Later hav to memorise my script again. "cake Sim".. haix.... Well i get to plan my stuff le.. feel beta.... Tmr cant meet my dear le.. very bad la.. Just have to continue missing you.. wahaha... love u still... Liwan jia you

Part 1

Went to school this morning for OP. We did quite badly so ms cai wanna ask to stay back tmr to rehearse. HAix. I feel kind of sad.

After that i went home. I feel very sad. I cant stand that kind of feeling le. Why? what happened? why cant i just get u out of my head? liwan, serve u right! You always dont learn from your lessons. You always do what you think is correct w/o thinking of the consequences. You are a fool. Liwan, i will see how you are going to suffer during the holiday. I guess i will just occupy myself with tons of work. haix....

Going back to school tmr for result slips . Gonna to play 3 songs tmr. See lor, maybe ms fong will forget. But i doubt she will let me off. I will try my best to play it well. After that mayb will go and ask ms fong what shld i do during my holiday and what to work on. need some enlightenment. After which will go for OP.

Tmr will also meet my dear for lunch and we will study chinese together. hopefully it will be productive ba. I am so tired. feel like taking a nap , but i noe i cant cos i scared fat. haha.. will go plan my stuff first. After which will prepare for chem tuition. Sick!!

Somehow i understand the term "spill over effect" le. Recently i am always the third party. I guess people should learn how to internalise the externalities. HUMP!! It really affects me a lot. I didnt slp well yesterday nite. I dreamt of you. I guess i miss you a lot. I tried not to fall into the trap but i cant sia. My dear warned me that time le, yet i still replied my dear with confidence that i wont fall into the stupid trap. Why? i thought i also warn myself not to be so emotionally attached to people? see la, what happen now? Liwan, you got to learn how to let go. You always think that you are mature, but come to think u are just a big baby. I seriously dont know what to say.

Today, i have to memorise my OP script. I hope it will be fine. Having physics tuition at 10.00am . DO look forward to it. I guess is because i want to know how to plan my stuff well.Mr derrick will teach me how to do that. Kind of tired now because i din get to slp well. 3.00pm got maths tuition. learning DE. honestly, i am scared of maths. I am scared of vectors. Argh! Somehow feel that i am not really. Ms yang can you help me pls???? haix..Mr Ang!! HOw?? sob sob sob...haix................

Okay.. got to go and bathe le. I need to go and prepare my stuff.

I LOVE MY BLUE SKY. I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you lotz....

Part 2

Hmm.. finished reading another chap for chinese. left 3 more chaps to go. Tmr cannot study le. I need to memorise my script for OP le. Just now, i was prac 3 songs. haa..isnt easy. My mouth very tired le. My harmonica gt a bit problem.SIanz..haix.... I hope everything will be fine on tues. I oso finished doing the cards. It is a bit ugly la.. bUt it is the thoughts that count?? haa.. YEA.... Gg off le.. go do OP again............... tata.......................................................................


Part 1

So sianz.. I really look forward to the end of A level chinese and PW examination. I can start chionging again after The 2h1 examination. I have prepared so much things to do. I just realised smthg leh!!! top in class for physics and maths can get a small gift frm mrs toh and Mr ang respectively. HOW COME TOP IN CHEMISTRY GOT NTHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MS FONGGGGG??????NOT WORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but again , do i deserve it? haix.. nvm

Tmr got physics and maths tuitions. Hope will get to learn more things. Going to buy bras at night. i Studied 5 chaps for chinese le. Will study another 2 more tonight. After that i will do maths. Yea!!

Went to popular and grandmaa house this afternoon. Went popular to buy shelves. Guess what, i haven finishd packing my stuff. Ai ya , all chinese and PW fault. Was doing cards for Ms Ho and ms Fong. haha.. Is a very small and tiny one. I havn finished doing yet. haix.. i am really a slacker. later also need to prac playing harmonica.. haha... A lot of stuff to do sia?? haha... But most important thing is i enjoy doing them. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so tired...

Will stop here... will update again if i am free........ BUSy BUSY BUSy.. BUT FUN fUn FUn........

Yesterday i saw Ms Ho and went forward to say hi to her. She said hi to me and placed her shoulder over me. Guess whats next? "i am leaving" she said adruptly. I was shocked. My heart sank. We are not very close compare. I told her i am sad to hear that. I wasnt in the mood after that. She told me to look for her after school.

I called her when she ended. The sky was dark. That was how i felt at that very moment. She came out and passed me a notebook and highlighter. I was touched. She told me a lot of things. After that we "gou gou" shou, and i promised her i will do my best for economics and other subjects. She said she has a lot of faith in me. After that i told her about what will be happening on tues. She told me to look for ms fong. After that i left her with a heavy heart. I went to look for ms fong, I told her about what i told ms Ho. She said she is more than willing to wait. Hopefully everything will go smoothly on Tues. I was very sad but ms fong kept laughing. Then i kept saying that she doesnt understand how i feel.

After that i walked to stadium.It started raining heavily. I guess only the SkY understand how i feel......................................................................I guess i need to learn how to take things easy. I must learn how to accept it. haix..

I will be going to tampines later. Have to look for my GP tuition. AFter that i will go Popular to buy fat pens for my examination. Good luck to me...

Didnt go out with the class today. I guess is time to settle down. Must jia you!

For the past few days, i was not in the mood. I throw temper at my parents. I am sorry. Tried to cool down and reflect upon what i have done. Learnt to be mature.

Today lesson was fine. talked to Mr Ang and asked him what should i do over the holiday. Learn to strategies. I will try my best. =] saw my results today. saw my ranking too. 360! Should i be happy? lolz not sure. I asked ms fong if i really can make it nxt yr and of course her answer was yes. I told her i am scared but she thinks i can. I will study hard, i promise! After that was civics. She came into the class and said ' Come, liwan is going to sing us a song" I got shocked. i told her i will only sing to her. I only promised her to play harmonica in front of the class. So i am "performing" on tues to the class. haha.Actually i am not scared. there isnt anything to be afraid of. was practising just now, kind of awful. haha... I stopped playing since Pri 3 but i still believe i can one. =p

Just nw went to library to get good stuff. HAha.. Not bad la. i am gg to buy story books le la.. feel like reading a lot of books. haha

tired. GG to bathe le. Tmr is another long day. Sianz... haix..... Wish me luck! GG to DO CHINESE LATER.. haha.. have been slacking... tata

Should i go and see doctor? i thought my hand is fine until i was trying to do math, i still cant write properly. I am feeling damn sad.Can anyone understand how i feel? yes, i cried. they are tears of fear. haiz............

Went to east coast for blade'g. i did enjoy myself. i fall dwn a lot time. I stop blade'g after an hr. Was feeling kind of sad and worried. Ai ya!!!!!!! i am always like that de!!!!!! stupid me. After that we went parkway and play pool. Jon is my teacher. He is good. Actually all the guys are good are at playing pool. They are very serious if u obvious closely. Have a lot of fun today. After that we went TM and eat. I feel like a pig lor.. keep eating..aha.........

God i hope that my hand will be fine. Why?? why cant i write? i dont wan to waste money on my hand. God pls? I know i asked a lot from you but haix................................. eyes are closing........... gonna go and slp soon.............. tata................. tmr training.............. Haix....................

Damn tired sia..... Just came back... just nw tuition!!! Gt cheated! there isnt any test. Mr Looh , u cheated me. is okay at least i get to learn smthg.. haah... Hmm.. he taught us chem equilibrium today. So blur.. sianz la........... trying to catch wad he is trying to say.. haah...nvm la..don noe then ask ms fong lor.. haah....

talked to Mr Low for a while...haha..yes,i feel beta liao!!!! Cos i kept it to myself for quite long le.. haha... talked to ms fong today.. told her i was quite disappointed or may be sad after hearing what she said about................. haix............nvm........

Wed have to hnd in I&R draft. .. sianzsia.... don feel like doing anything....... Tmr have to chiong tutorials oso... maths tutorial.. sianz again....... haha........... See,i am slacking my life away.... too tired....... gg to bathe le.. maid is calling me again. haiz.......................(gg to eas coast tmr cos...... heeh)

Part 2

got back my HP.. heeh.. happy! Is software problem. So tired. tmr have test yet i haven study finish. Well, i guess just try my best la.. Not choice ma.....I have been eating a lot this few days but all the food taste so yucky! IS all my hand fault! stupid right hand.

went for ms yang lesson. surprisely i din not get scolded. HAha.. happy! She said is okay. She was shocked also when she asked about the rest of my sub. haah... is a normal reaction! MAy be liwan is really v stupid!haa... YEA.... my eyes are closing, need to go study le... b4 that i need to go and take medicine.... my maid is calling me.................byeZZZZZZZ



i spent quite some time to pack my stuff just now. I still have a lot to pack. I can feel the motivation to start studying. All my tuitions will resume per normal. I guess my teachers will start teaching year 2 work. Honestly, i really look forward to learning new stuff. Of course not forgetting that i need to work on some of my weak areas. (laugh)

I spent quite a long time finding yr 2 resources. I found a few. i will start after Chinese and PW A level exam. =] Really want to do well. i definitelly know that next year is a very tough year for me. Competition start during march, i will be missing a lot of lessons, so i need to start early=]Later, i will be going for maths tuition. i wonder what ms yang is gg to do to me. HELPP!!!!!!!!!! I really need to talk to her. =[

My hand is still nt well yet. I dont know what to do. God help me and guide me! =[.....................

Part 2...

i decided to fill in the blank le...after what mich said.. observing " the class since i am told tt most of us may split"...... okay done.. mich happy? haaa...i guess is gd to hav some sweet memories ifwe really sPLIT!!!!!!!!!!

went to plaza sing to shop.. buy much things.. cos of my hand... after that i went to pray n give thankz. I just pray and pray ....hopefully GOd will ans my prayers.........

gg to bathe le tata.........

yesterday was a short day. NO PE!! we were soooo happy.....Then went for lessons. The lesson was quite alrite. After lesson, wnt for consultation. Ms Fong helped me with thermal chem. It was a short one becos i dun dare to ask her a lot of questions. The guilt is still dere... haiz.. Went for cousnelling too. It lasted for 2hrs. I tried to help u liao.. Mrs Chang was oso shock when she saw my results. She said there is really a great improvement. hA.. We talked about other things too..YEA...After that i saw Mrs Toh, i asked her the same ques..and i was happy that her answer was "definitely will " I am so happy..

After everything, i prepared for my OP. I was so stress. But is okay. We need to rehearse a lot of time.We can one!!! After that there was a mini class outing. I decided to go cos of....................................... fill in the blanks. We went for bowling and dinner. i kept very quiet most of the time observing............................ fill in the blanks.

God i really dun wish to see a cheerful person become dejected and sad. i will keep you in my prayers. I cannot enjoy myself if my fren is nt happy. i may nt look like i care, but deep inside my heart i am really very worry.

gg to repair my phone lateer.. Cant go out with my dear le.. do feel a bit sad.. but nvm..JIA YOU!!!!!

i noe i am able to be promoted but i am not happy. My frens did not do well. A few cant promote.. tmr i will talk to Mrs Chang, i will try my best to help u.. I dont know how much i can help, at least i tried! I am tired. my hand cant move much.. i don noe what happened! haix...

Tmr sch end early but i hav OP. Haix.. is a sad thing. b4 that i will be asking ms fong chemistry ques for Mon test. Hopefully she can make it.. Then after that will go for cousnelling.Yupz!!!!

I am really not in the mood to blog i guess... I will go study. HAIX

Got back GP today... sianz.. nvm.. hav to work harder lor..tme is thurs.. the most sucky day.. Damn tired la.. Gt OP LEH!!!!!!!.. gg for cousnelling tmr... hav to sms MRs Chang.. she is a nice teacher.... hee... how to sms hr if my phone is spoil leh?? will see la.. very sick and weak nw.. what's wrong with me.. haix.........

i feel quite sad that some of my frens din manage to pass. Some did not do well. Some just make it .. some confirm retain. What happened?i dont know. i lent them my listening ears, give them some advices though i think i am not in the position to do so. I need to seek advices from teachers too. I want to know if ireally go on to yr 2, will i suffer ? but i guess i noe the ans..

need to plan for nxt yr le.. will ask for help from Mr derrick. He is definitely one great teacher and fren. I guess the keyword is still 'discipline' . LIWAN JIA YOU!!!!!!!!! be assured! U can de...

gg off le....... eyes are closing..... and is only 6 plus.. HOW? i dun noe what happened to me.. Just feeling damn weak. no strength.. Hopefully everything is fine... hav to do op liao....... TATA

took back chem paper.. top in class.. but no one believe.. is okay lor.. sob sob... cos i oso cannot believe.. I wasnt happy when i see all the stupid mistak i made.. I noe i let myself dwn.. But i am glad that i never let my teacher dwn.. At least i dun cause any spillover effects to ther pp.. I noe i let myself dwn.. But what can i do ? work harder loe.. The guilt is still there.. but it will be over soon...

GoD i hav a small wish nw.. a very small wish... i hope that my chem teacher will still be ms fong.. yupz.. isnt it very small?? i may change class due to H1 physics.. I dun noe la.. haix... but hav to be mentally prepared since i am told..

when to see doc just nw.. cant breathe properly.. haix.. nvm.. teh doc said is okay.. shld be fine.. The medicine is working.. putting me to slp.. tired.. doing chem just nw.. preparing for mon test ... dun wanVJC pp to win.. at least i dun wan to fail badly la..
i am too tired.. =[

Tmr will be a very super tiring day.. i dun noe what to say.. my maths .. i am quite disappointed.. hopefully can pass.. YEA!!!!!! LIWAN JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Persevere..I feel like taking one yr break.. Just too tired.. retain may nt be a bad choice...

so tired these few days.. Hmm..Somehow noe my results le.. was disappointed with chemistry la.. Ai ya... sadded.. I noe i top the class for the essay.. and did relatively well compare to the whole cohort... What i am actually worried most is my Structure and MCQ.. Sad la... somehow regretted la.. haix.. Dun NOE what to say sia... I hope i wont cry in front of ms fong tmr la.. haix.. she said she really super proud of me la.. BUT.... nvm...

gt back my econ today.. Yupz.. improved a lot.. frm 28 to 53.3..nt bad la.. it gives me the motivation to go further.. I sms and share the joy with MR tan and ms fong.. MS FOng so Proud of me.. haha.. I guess is gd to share ur joy.. haha... MR TAN LIKE A BIT SHOCK HOR?? TOLD u my CHEM .. U DUn believe .. still wan to ask MS fong..haha.. is okay la.. Go ask lor.. nvm... =p...

Tmr have the stupid appreciation thingy.. cant go for chem lesson.. i dun care la.. HUMP!>. i sms her ms fong and ask if i can meet her during my lunch to see my papers and marks... she hasnt reply.. But i really hope can la.. i am really very uptight with my chem paper.. MS FONG PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am tired.. i am tired .. just came back frm chem tuition actually.. a lot of things to do liao... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid me.. haix.. K.. will go bathe liao.. my eyes are closing....tata.. hope tt my dear is fine..

Part 2

I am so DEAd la..have been slacking.. say wan to pack table oso never.. say one to do physics oso nevr... guess what i have been doing.... in the morning i played my harmonica.. actually nt bad leh... haa.. I think i am nt that lousy after all.. haha... at least it dun sound awful.. YEA..

After that.. i wasnt in the good mood for the whole afternoon.... haix.......My face is as black as the charcoal.. I dun noe why.. i guess i am scared and sad.. I WASNT IN THE GOOD MOOD... i knock my head on my dad car.. i close the door w/o realising that my head is still outside.. IT was damn painful.. hopefully no internal bleeding.. haix.. really dun noe what i am doin...

in the afternoon i went to slp..i keep slping.. wake up then slp .. wake up then slp.. PIG??? DIED.. turning into a pig soon.. help me...PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sianz la.. why let my results bother me so much.. Why?? why my results so BIG!!!!!!!! Idiot la...i guess may b slping is the only time i am nt thinking.. ARGH!!!!!! I sms my DEAR... i guess we were all feeling dwn ba..haix..........sianz..... NVM!!!!!! AFTER THIS WK!!!!! AFTER THIS WK.. WE CAN HUG TOgether and CRy.. IT Will BE tEARs of JOY......... I will keep u in prayer...

gg to bathe le.. then look at physics again.. ha... gg out later.. so must be serious.. sianz.....JIA YOU!!!!!

Part 1
hmm.. yupz..i did go to changi village yesterday.. haa.. i am broke.. we ate nasi lemak, fried oyster, fried prawn mee.. we shared the food lor.. i guess i can eat a lot de.. haa. but after drinking the cup of lime juice.. we bth were full... After the lunch/dinner.. we went walk walk... Then we decided to ride bicycle.. haa... but nt in changi beach cos we don noe the way.. Lousy hor.. haa..we took 59 back.. haha.. we bth very sleepy... then slp in the bus and listen to music...... then went to my place la.....But i just realised that the bicycle shop closed.. ha.. then we walked abt one rd the reservoir lor aha.... We kept laughing and laughing.. Like the whole reservoir is ours.... we had a lot of fun.. haha... after that we were to lazy to walk.. we took bus hme.. meanwhile we can talk in the bus... We were very serious talking abt promo results.. we were very scared.. AFter this coming week.. everything will be fine.. WE will plan for our future.. YEA.. study very hard... But honestly i am very scared.. i am scared that i cant make it.. i dun wan to go ard begging the P AND VP to let me promote.. I dun WAN that TO happen.. I REALLI REALLI VERY SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh ya.. yesterday i oso went to visit my AI AIs.. Janice and VAl.. haa.. Val let me see her baby pic.. super cute.. the baby is enjoying herself.. i think VAl and the Kor Kor love her a lot.. HAO XING FU!! so jealous... but happy for her.......... GUess what.. Kor Kor made the pic into postcard.. Then i told VAl, "wow ur hubby look a bit TuTU .. not bad can make such things".. she beat me lor.. I Was damn happy that she hit me.. super happy.. not becos i am crazy..I guess if she hit me means she cares abt her hubby.. she loves her hubby a lot... isnt it??? I told her i am very proud of her.. i told her i am glad that she found her happiness... VAL congrats........

I guess later i am gg to my grandma hse... The last time i went was b4 promo.. i was carrying my econs notes.. Now i am free.. But I dun think i can enjoy much.. since tmr i will get back almost all my result le...and after tmr.. i will somehow noe if will promote ma.... a bit scared de lor... !!!!!!!!!!!

k... I need to go pack my table le... I pack a bit yesterday.. bind all my notes.. hee.. later need to do tutorial..since MRS TOh is gg thru it on TUEs.. I guess i need to go back to tuition le.. HAIX HAIX.... Sianz.............. noo shld be fun!!!!!! haha

I WILL KEEP U IN MY PRAYERS.. WE MUST GET PROMOTE TOGETHER.. WE WILL BUY THE SAME BAG.. YEA!!!!!!!!! I WILL BE THERE 4 U....

still very happy.. i guess is realli nice to help people.. becos i like to help people.. ha

I dont know what happened leh.. My eye swollen! Actually i could feel something in my eye yesterday, i din noe it so serious.. nt very serious la.. just uncomfortable.. not pretty liao.. haa.. T_T .. haha.. never mind.. i prefer inner beauty.. haa... '

sianz.. very tired.. sleepy leh.. but i cannot be like others ..slp till 11plus .. dun noe why.. MAy b i will go try and slp again.. haha.. must enjoy la..MOn will get back econ and chem ba?? haix.. tired la.. Must do tutorial leh.. sianz leh.. PHYSICS tutorial leh.. sianz diao..

sooooooooo tired......... soooooooo tired............

Hmm.. later gg out liao.. will enjoy myself.. but have to be hme at 6.30 cos my parents gg out.. bad lor..... ARH!!!!!.. nvm... wil probably up date my blog again.. ai ya.. siaz.. just nw went to d/l the ans frm the matrix.. ms fong said must print cos mon gg thru.. i look at the ans.. haix.. shal nt continue.. i hope they are nt strict..if nt i am dead.... HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning i came to school nt having a gd mood. I dont know why la.. But is okay la.. It is open hse.. everyone was so busy.. i was super free.. so i sms mdm koh to see if i can help a not.. haa.. Okay lor.. quite fun la.. I told her i wan to put my full mark compo.. ahah.. so i rush hme to get the compo.. I took taxi la.. 5 buckz leh.. nvm.. But is worth la.. hehe.. can show off my teachers.. haha... after that somehow a lot of students came.. i show them the way... crap with them.. tell them to talk to my chers... show them how powerful my chers are.. haha.. happy happy....somehow i din think abt the guilty thingy.. THANkz MR TAN.. U ArE VERY NICE>..

I chatted with Mrs Chang, Mrs Toh, MR ANG, MS HO.. haa.. some how i noe all my results le.. haa..I think my chemistry.. dun noe wht to say.. haix.. nvm... MY maths . i quite happy.. though i din make it.. but i improve.. see the moderation ba.. aha... HMM... MOn getting back chem ba.. essay only i think... GEtting chinese?? dun noe..

After that i saw ms fong.. I told her i have smthg to tell her.. I tell her to be serious la.. I told her i feel very bad.. But she said she v proud of me.. after a while.. she craps again la.. Ai yo.. MS FONG!!!!!!!!!!! i told her i wan to hide frm her oso.. But i told her i cannot.. Guess what is her reply la.. joke again lor.. she said pretty pp like one another.. see la.. cannot tahan.. She said she can only crap with me.. bo bian....

AFter the open hse thingy... i stayed back for the celebration for mooncake festival.. It was quite fun. very tiring... i stayed for almost the whole celebration giving my chers support.. i sang with them oso.. haa..so shy la..ms Ho and ms fong said they will support me..aha.. ms fong and i "gou gou shou" le.. i told her i will sing for her ..or play harmonica for her if i promote.. haha...

Tired.. my eyes are closing sia... my mouth oso v tired.. talked too much.. BUt i really have a lot of fun.. thankz mr tan.. and i noe u care 4 me.. thankz thankz... gg off le.. nitezzzzzz....... sleepy..

TMR GG out WItH My DEAR.. HAHHA.. YEA.. I called dear.. but never ans... Try again tmr.. Tired.. i cant walk le..i hurt bth my knee and ankle... TATa

this morning i met my dearest Dear.. 4ever late de.. but nvm.. nt angry.. i reached sch just on the dot.. wasnt in the good mood.. after the assembly, i went for the lectures.. Still okay.. I received a sms from ms fong. I was damn happy at first.. i thought she wanna tell me some gd news for chemistry. But is not la.. she asked me who never coem sch today.. i sianz diao... After the lecture, ms fong called me again. I was very happy, cos i carried hope that mayb my chem gt some hope... But then she said is nt abt chemistry.. i was so sad sad sad.. she said she havent mark.. may be i can still carry some hope...I 'scolded" her..i told her she always let me carry some hope... then she will be the one who let me lose hope again... sianz diao sia.. nvm lor..haix....

very tiring la.. preparing for open hse.. GT pW to do.. Chatted with MR TAN just nw.. I guess he understand how i feel.. sorry for disturbing u.. haix... thankz for lending me ur ears.. i really feel like crying out.. is just the matter of time.. i dun wan to cry in front of my chers.. isnt nice.. Haix........... I cant stand le.. That kind of feeling isnt nice.. But how many of u understand? I noe why chers do nt mind even i never do well, cos they think that i put in more than i shld.. they are happy.. v proud of me.. but i realli care.. I care a lot.. i bother... i cant be like other students.. who dont appreciate and bother.. i realli cannot..

Tmr will be another busy day.. heard gt OP.. i guess i am numb le.. sianz le.. who can lend me his or her shoulder? i am looking forward to sat.. GG to changi village with my dear to makan.. hopefully i will be in very gd mood..

I LOVE U A LOT.. MISS YOU A LOt.. I WAN TO TALK TO U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went to sch library .. borrowed 2 bks... Nt bad ma.. saw MR TAN, MDM KOH.. wasnt in the rite mood... haix.. very sad.. when i was abt to leave school.. i saw ms fong. i wanted to hide.. but couldnt.. she "suaned" me lor.. haix..... actually she was just trying to play with me.. but like what i say.. i wasnt in the gd mood..she said i feel abit "KONg XU" so come to school.. VERy BAd lor.. Sound like i am nerd.. buT i thought this word is a bit crude la.. i told her i dun wan to see her..but she still crap with me.. haix... she told me that i shld feel happy seeing her.. cos get to see pretty gal...haix. Sometime i am really serious with my words.. yet she still craps with me.. i knoe she said that she cant help to not to crap with me...But why she cannot ..haix.....nvm....... may b find one day.. really sit dwn n talk to her........

went to beach.. feel beta... feel much much beta ba.. kind of tired.. i do so many things just to get myself tired.. so that i wont think so much.. oh ya.. i saw Mrs Chang today.... we talked a while la.. she wan to put me in her waiting list liao..... sob sob... I m dead la.. counselling leh.. but i guess is fun. hha..... YEA

YEA.. tmr can go sch.. haa.. i guess is funto sch.. a place that i am proud of... YES i lOve tJC... haha...i am tired... getting to meet my dearest dear tmr morning.. MY DeAR.. dont be sad.. you really treat me v nice le..... Dun feel guilty.... cos i am hppy when chatting with u . when gg out with u .. can????? is nt bad for me...... ? K? u dun feel sad. if nti i will nt be happy........

I hurt my knee.. haix.. he sinseh said i never drink watr.. which is quite true. i am dead la. tmr u will see my pig leg..... ARGH!!!!!!!!! But is cool! haha....


WHY CANT U SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME??? I ALWAYS THINK THAT YOU ARE NICE.. BUT I AM TRUELY DISAPPOINTED... I DONT KNOE.. I GUESS I FALL INTO UR TRAP LE>.. ARGH!!!!!!!! SOMEONE PLS HELP ME TO GET OUT OF THE TRAP.. HELP...... i CANT HELP BUT TO CONTINUE LOVING U ...

now.. i just wan to be alone.. listening to very sad sad sad music. So FAr i only found one fren who share the same "passion" with me. Listening to very very sad song is actually very fun. Imagine u close door, nobody disturb u .. and u on the sad music, throw "urself " into the music.. evoke ur feelings.. i think then is nice lor... heee,.... MAybe u can say that we are crazy.. is okay...

I think i love to fantasies a lot of things.. i love to stay in fantasy.. It is really a perfect world.GG back to sch later.. GG back to sch library.. see can borrow what books.. I wan to read and read.. i guess is to keep myself occupy.. haix.. well.. dun noe.. sianz....

after that will go inter meet my cousin.. then go beach together... At last.. actually i am nt sure of how to go.. but can try ba.. haha....... YEA!!!!!! I mUST GO!!!!!!!! I MUST GO!!!!!!!! I long to go for a period of time.. DEAR CANT GO WITH ME.. I WILL GO MY OWN... =]

Will update later...............

i cried when i was resting.. just couldnt stop...

Went back to sch to ask Mei qi abt GP tuition. Seek advices from her abt promotion. SAw Ms Ho.. told her i am nt happy. I felt that i had disappoint my chers. She said that all the chers noe i put in a lot of effort. The effort i put in is more than enough.. she told me not to feel guilty. HAix.. But i am born to be lke that.. i feel that i owe them a lot of stuff.. If this continues, i will go crazy.. haix..

AFter gg sch..i went parkway.. a lot of memories there... just kept walking and walking...After that i came back to sch, i saw Mdm jiang . She said she read my essay le.. still nt bad.. haix.. But somehow i am not proud of it. Guess wht i told her i feel like writing a book. I want to write a lot of stuff... MR TAN u must be laughing nw? But honestly after writing " My teacher" , i feel like writing stories to touch pp life.. but nvm.. is just a dream.....

after that i went to TM.. just kept walking aimlessly.... I hurt my KNEE.. It is swollen...HAix.. why am i torturing myself??????? Why i dun noe how to take care of myself??? Why i only knoe how to care 4 others like constantly sending my regards to the teacher who hurt her knee during tennis training... But why cant i learn to care 4 myself.??? I Am just a fool...

Tmr gg out with hui shan to watch movie.. she hasnt reply me yet.. regarding the time.. I guess i wan to go out is cos i dun wan to think so much.. i wan to keep myself occupy.. THe whole is tellin me that they wan to retain... i really speechless la.. haix......................................

Okay. i think my eyes are closing le.. wake up at 4.30 instead of 5.. nw i wan to slp.. i wan to slp...... actually thought of asking MDm KOH out for lunch tmr.. but dun wan la....I also dun noe if i can walk tmr...BREAK my leg lor..haix........... pain pain.. is swollen.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!

haix.. i gt cry a bit leh.. Haix.. i noe the chem paper wasnt difficult..haix.. i dun noe la.. the only thing i noe is.. it is nt up to my expectation. I am too tired.. haix...

Ms fong called me.. i told her i am very sad. MAy be cos too long never sad le.. have been controlling for very long time.. now is time to release everything. But i am touched that she really cares 4 me a lot.. thankz..

So what wil i be doing for the rest of the wks?? Dun noe. haix....
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......................... i am speechless....

MISS YOU A LOt A LOT A LOT.. LOVE U A LOT A LOt A LOt.. AFRAID ThAT I WILL LOSE UUUUUUUU

God bless me with wisdom for today chem paper ? Guide me along every questions? teach me to stay calm.. God i need u to be there for me. It is the last lap le.. I hope u will be there to share with me the tears of joy. God enlighten me . Tell me u are the mighty GOD..

Nitez.... waking up at 5am

Saw ms fong today. Hmm.. I tried to cover my face with my paper but to no avail. haha.. We chatted for abt 20 minutes. I told her how i felt. I told her i am very scared. I told her i am oso scared to scared. haha.. She laughed. She said she hope that what she said wasnt detrimental to me. She said i can do it de. But she said dont expect the paper to be easy, it is just managable. I guess is okay ba.... I told her i noe even i fail my paper she will also very proud of me. haha.. she said of course cos i am her pride. She said she wanna take a pic of me.. be a posture gal.. somehow i feel that she no need to be so proud of me.. cos i am nt even proud of myself.. hha... Anyway, ms fong thankz.. She said she will be waiting for my sms tmr.. Yupz.. i hope to sms u too.. I think i will call u if nthg goes wrong.

When to sch study frm 8pm.. then went for tuition which start at 2.30 i was damn stressful. gt scolded my Mr Looh.. But is okay.. he still laughed.. I will jia you de.. But he tinks that we cant do the paper tmr cos he thinks we dun noe a lot of stuff.. MR LOOH.. we will try our best one...

Drank coffee just now.. LOOk thru isomerism.. Okay okay lor.. later go and restudy again.. hope can relook at my stuff for 3 times.. yupz... All the best liwan... I AM SURE U HAVE A LOT TO SHARE... IS UR LAST PAPER LE.. i shall quote what my dearest dear said ".. u prepared so much le, now is the time 2 let ur effort out and shine!" DEAr thANKZ... I hope u will do well too.. LOVe u lotz...

GONNA GO le.. LAter take a BReak then go back to study! I CAN DE... I will make sure that i am at the optimal state tmr... YEA!!!!!!!!! thankz ms fong

Was quite happy just nw.. Cos Mr Tan said that my essay was well written and may deserve a distinction. BuT he tried to scare me b4 breaking the gd news to me.. HE first said i failed.. I was damn sad..But he was playing with me.. Actually i did put in a lot of effort writing.. nt easy leh!!!!!!

Honestly.. knowing that i passed chinese, i am not as happy as i knew i passed physics. I did sms ms fong and share with her.. as usual la.. she encouraged me.. tell me to stay positive.. But somehow i am nt happy.. haix.. my chem and econs.. haix...

was revising chem just nw.. was quite shock that i 4get so many things. Is it gd to knoe it now... Tues is exam le.. Haix.. shldnt go out on sat ?? dun noe.. shldnt slack on Fri.. NO i am nt complacent. HAix.. Ms fong sorry if i disappoint u. haix.. U noe smthg.. i am scared to be scared. whenever i am scared, i will tell myself cannot ! i promise ms fong to be strong , to persevere. But that kind of feeling suckx.. cos is so not myself. aix... Will this help me?? sob sob..

Later need to go and study again.. tired.. very tired... i drank coffee this afternoon. cannot slp nw.. i must continue to chiong la.. haix.. i need to restudy again.. frm organic chem backward.. I am scared.. sob sob.. i am v v v v scared. CAn anyone understand my feeling?????HAIX....

LIWAN U CAN DE .. U CAN DE.... U CAN DE..... U CAN DE... U CAN DE... PLS FOCUs.. JUSt have MOre faith IN urself.. LIWAN NI KE YI DE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN BE SCARED!!!!!!!! NI XIN DE!!!!! BELIEVE IN URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE ON TUES!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankz MR TAN.. hhaa.. U indeed brightened up my day.. I was so worried.. I think i just pass de.. is lucky de.. cos i anyhow do de.. esp for the close passage.. but The compre i gt think la.. try to ans using ur the methods u taught me during remedial.. Sorry if i ever disappoint u.. I promise will work hard for my A level chinese.. wont disappoint u de!!!!!!! I kNoe u have been helping me a lot.. For essay oso...I am sure this time i never write out of point.. cos I asked MDM KOH le.. haha.. so is nt a problem.. YEA.. but i hope they wont moderate dwn... YEA.. MR TAN THANKZ I AM SOOOOO HAPPY.. KILL 2 papers LE.. I dun noe why i am so happy la.. though they dun look at chinese paper de.. HUMP!!!!!!!!!! MR tan I guess is the effort i put in?? hehe... Honestly for now.. i wab to pass not cos of promo.. but i wan to see the outcome of my effort.. MR TAN thankz... And i hope i did pass my essay la.. hehe...

Din sms ms fong to tell her i pass chinese.. haha.. cos nt sure yet.. essay still nt sure.. honestly.. essay always kill me de.. haha...

Today when out with yi ling.. she was in super not in the mood.. I almost cried when i see her like that.. i hope she is fine..haix... I tried to make her happy.. try to act like a fool.. We went to bugis to pray.. I prayed for her.. I really wan her to be happy.. I wan her to promote .. we must promote together... GOD this is really my advance Birthday wish... PLS Like my birthday wish comes true.. Nxt sat gg out with her to makan at changi village.. haha....... I treated her makan today.. hehe... she bought me drink.. she said i always make her feel guilty.. sorry la.. i guess is cos of my character.. always put others b4 me... That's why i will make pp feel guilty.. haha... I love all my frens and teachers ma.. No choice...

Left chemistry le.. Today studied mole concept and kinetics... Kinetics haven finish yet.. Hmm...I think i will study again later.. i want to watch I not stupid !!!!!!!! Later study .. YEA.. LIWAN U CAN DO IT DE... LEFT CHEmISTRY.. JUSt DO ur BESt.. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!

LASTly ThAnkz MR TAN!!!!!!!!!! can u sense my happiness ?? haha.. I mean dun talk abt essay yet.. But now i scared It is too early to be happy.. ARgh.. nvm.. Stay positive.. i guess things will stay in place!!!!!!!!!!

i delete the entry i written just now. I dont think is rite to write.. haix...

yes i am feeling very sad.. cos of my maths paper.. is affecting.. haix... CAN someone pls time me i will pass my chem and econ and chinese? haix.. I am feeling very down.... U noe that kind of anxiety?? Imagine ms fpng and i were so happy over my physics results. We said that must go and kill the paper. She said i can promote le.. Getting closer to my dream.. BUt nw!!!!!!! Becos of that stupid maths paper.. i am like losing hope again...

I am studying organic today.. plus mole concept which i haven touch yet.. I am progressing at a very slow rate.. just nw victor sms me.. say wan to study with me.. then i said okay lor.. But i hope that i can go out and have fun too.. OH DEAr.. i am Slacking... MY CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MS FONG I NEED UR HELP!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I DONT DARE TO SMS U OR CALL U.. U TELL ME TO CALL U OR SMS U .. BUT I DUN DARE.. sob sob..nvm..i think i can help myself de.. Ask mr looh lor.. I dun have the courage to call or sms her whenever it is abt chemistry.. i always think that i am a burden to all my chers... But come to sharing the joy of my physics results, haha.. of course i dare to call.. YEA!!!!!!!!!!!

I hOpe i have more Joy to share.. YEA? LIWAN U CAN DE.. U STILL HAVE ECON AND CHEM.. I AM SURE U HAVE A LOT TO SHARE...ms fong said improvement is the most important thing.. YEs.. i must show to all my chers that liwan is pushing hard... liwan is trying her best.. lastly i guess and most importantly i never let myself dwn.. =]=].. LIWAN .. so many teachers said that they are proud of u .. u shld be proud of urself too.. haa.. YES! the journey is tough.. But i am sure u can do it de.. YEAAA!!!!!!!!!

Feeling slightly beta le.. is time to go study le... Happy MOOn cake festival.. anyway.. i dun like to eat mooncake..haha... YEA!!!!!

Sad cos of maths paper and chinese paper..

Chinese paper first.. the stupid air-con... argh.. MR TAN SORRY IF I FAILED THE PAPER.. I will be sad too.. haix... MAths paper i confirm plus guarantee fail.. but i really tried my best le.. sianz.... ARGH!

HMm.. Happy cos of my physics.. SAw mrs toh this morning..i was hiding .. don wan to see her..scared she tells me my result again.. after that she called me.. she told me that i gt borderline mark... BUt at that point of time.. i still dun really get her.. i still dun noe if i pass or fail.. wasnt in the good mood.. then went for chinese paper... After 3hrs and 15mins.. i received a gd nice.. she said she is very happy.. cos i passed well for my physics.. the moment i saw the sms.. i jumped for joy.. i hugged my frens.. haa... guess what i did nxt.. i called ms fong...haha... i asked if she is in sch today.. hhaa.. she said she is gg for lunch... i told her i see her under LT 1 .. then when i saw her.. i ran towards her.. i showed her the sms.. haha.. she was very happy.. she said 1 paper down liao.. haha.. YEA... but i told her i hope to do well for the rest of papers... she said she is waiting for me to sing song.. haha... she said she hope to sms me for my chemistry.. .. ms fong i hope too.. sianz....

Tmr can go out with dear le.. haha... YEA... happy.. gg to sch tmr... will study for a while..

Today econ was quite tough.. I think The CSQ is tough lor.. i am gone... don know.. i hope my essay can help me . Haix.. Pls GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday saw Mrs Toh. SHe said she marked my paper le. She kept smiling. i Guess i failed ba. Haix... I asked her if i did badly .. she said no. U believe her??? i Told her i tried my best for physics le. SHe said she can see... haiz..so did i pass??? I feel very sad... Can anyone understand?? i hate suspense... ARgH.. GOD.. can let me pass?? i never smell even a S for physics. I really tried my best. It isnt easy .. really nt easy.. haix.. I wan to pass my physics...

saw ms fong today. she chatted with me. She said what is most important is i have tried my very best. I Told her i cannt tahan le.. haix.. But she said I must persevere! yea.. i will since i promise her.. Guess what.. I feel that at times i am just putting a strong front in front of other people.. in front of ms fong etc.. i cannot stand le.. it is difficult. trying to be strong , acting very strong , but in fact i am not strong a all. Since i told promise ms fong le.. some more tell her promise are nt meant to be broken.. I guess i shld continue to jia you.... =]

Tmr maths and chinese... I guess i wont study chinese la..No time to finish maths.. Sorry MR TAn if u ever read this... After tmr will be a better day.... can go out nad play.. imagine i said that in front ms fong.. CHEM PAPEr NOT OVER YET.. HHAA.. BUT SHE THINKS i shld Go and have fun....Hmm.. tmr will ask ms fong... if she ever can lend me 1 hr of time , and if i got questions i will ask her.. Cos my mole concept.. haix.. my redox...tired.. Liwan u can de! ALL the best....

LOVE THE BLUE SKY!!!!!! MISS YOU... LOVE U SO MUCh

haix.. suppose to call MY dEAr at 6.00 but i din.. i am sorry... I dun expect u to forgive me.. haix. how? what shld i do?? GIve u hugs and kisses oso no use...Hope u can get back to me after ur paper.. I hope God will grant u wisdom ...

I din study much yesterday.. i was very sleepy.. dun noe what to say .. haix...Today will be a tough day.. have to chiong all the way... sigh... beta go study le.. will update more if i am free...

MY DEAR FORGIVE ME CAN??

NOT FEELiNG WELL... sob sob....

Hmm.. YUPZ i am happy today. It is not becos of physics paper or GP paper. Both papers were tough.

I guess i am happy becos i dont regret after doing the paper. isnt that the most important? saw ms fong this morning.. TOld her abt how i replied to Yan Hing's statement.. hee.. yupz.. she is very proud of me.. heh.. *shy* YEa.. I told her i will try my very best! Then after the paper i saw her again. She asked her how was the paper, i din answer her but she stopped asking. I waited for some time then replied her. I told her "ms fong i tried my best already" . I told that to Mr Tan too. Actually this morning Amelia and i was chatting about graditude. I told her i feel damn bad towards ms fong. I feel very sorry. she told me that teachers wont fault students as long as they tried their best. They will be very proud me. Of course i noe.. but i still feel very bad.. haix.. nvm.... i guess a lot of people will not understand. haha...

I am quite tired.. Waiting for my DEAR to call me.. MY DEAREST DEAR IS SLEEPING!!!!!! I SMS TO ask WHAT TIME MY DEAR WILL BE SLEEPINg.. I WILL COMPANY MY DEAR.. I shall study econ.. but feelibg very tired le.. Hope will hav a reply soon....

LIWAN JIA YOU... YOU CAN DE.. MEANWHILE JUST STAY POSITIVE... YEA!!!!!!! LOOK 4ward To the end Of ProMO... MISS YA.. LOVE U A LOT... HAHA.... GG TO BATHE.. HoPefully will be more refresh... happy happy....

I am seriously very tired... slept at 12 plus yesterday night.. which is very early la... Went to temple yesteday night at ard 10 plus... I really prayed to the GOd who is listening to me. I told him to give me strength. Grant me wisdom. I was merely desperate for help. well, i prayed le.. may be will give me a sense of relief? I guess what i should do now is continue to work hard and stay positive?=]

Yesterday chatted with yan hing. I told her about me focusing on all the subjects. She told me that focusing on all the subjects will not do better than just focus on a few. I felt quite hurt and that instant. I was shocked by my reply to her statement. I Told her "i believe i can do it de" WOW i was shocked.. I guess i never say that b4 lor.. i was damn shock. I guess it is cos of what i promised ms fong.. lolz.. i am shock..

Tmr paper start le.. i will work hard de.. though i am weak in physics, i will give my best. I have come a long way.. the journey isnt easy. i persevered! of course there were many setbacks along the way, but at least i picked up and finish the journey.. LIWAN JIA YOU!!!!!! U can de!!!!!!! GIVE ur BEst...

GG for physics and maths tuition laters. Wake up early to look at GP. For physics, i left Ten yr series and Prelim paper. I have to look through one more time. LIWan u can de.. Will re memorsie the definitions. AS for GP, i somehow finished 6 essays on 4 topics. Gender, environment, mass media, poverty. I hope it helps.. GOd i spent a lot of time on GP le.. GOD pls help me. Thankz... GRant me wisdom.. Thankz...

K.. is time to go back to study.. feeling very tired.. but cannot! must persevere!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!Hope that my Dearest DEAr is fine.. i prayed for my dear too.. hhaa.. RMB? We getting married.. haha.. I guess the 2 of us were bug by a lot of pp who kept asking "wow, u really getting married ya" hhaa....tata...........

Im Liwan. I love to be loved, pampered. I want to be the superest girl but i always fail to be one. I want to be a teacher next time. Currently at the age of 21. Birthday 5th Jan